OMD

I’m sitting here trying to write a paper, with my headphones on, listening to Pandora.  All I can think is, “Oh Crap! My favorite high school song.”  Now I have to think about him and all the wonderful feelings I had at that time of my life.  So romantic. So hopeful.  So full of love and desire.  So too young.  So not believed that my feelings were real.

Here is a note to my 16 year old self:

I believe you. I believe in how your heart soars.  I believe all the pain you feel when you are apart.  I believe your hopes and dreams are real.  I believe that you wish you were years and years older.  I understand how you hate that college has to come first.  I will be there when he breaks your heart.  And I will validate all your feelings.  And then I will tell you to pick yourself up and realize that you wouldn’t want to marry someone who treats you like trash…..something that can be used and tossed away.  I would tell you that your prince is coming, to be patient, it will take time, but it will happen.

Little Man

My youngest son is sick…..and acts like he is dying.  He has me running for water, food and blankets.  When this child grows to a man and finds a woman she better have a high need to nurture.  He definitely has the man gene of being absolutely miserable when ill (and the ability to make me miserable too!).

The Right Fit

Lately I have been pulling up my pants like crazy! I don’t know if I lost weight……I don’t think so.  My pants just haven’t fit, either too tight or too loose.  One of the most annoying things for me is that my pants do not fit in the butt.  I don’t have much going on in the hind end, so to get something to fit around my lack of butt is amazing. 

I took a chance yesterday, when Old Navy had their jeans on sale.  I actually got a pair of jeans under $15! What is so wonderful about these jeans is not only did I get them at a great price, but they fit wonderfully!

Yay! My butt is hugged and the pants stay up! Way to go Old Navy, you now have a very loyal customer!

Old Navy Jeans

Why the name change?

It just came to me…..the name change.  You see, here lately I have been joking with Jeff about how I don’t have anything to do being that I’m just a stay at home mom. I am just so bored and don’t know what to do with myself since I don’t have a real job.  My days are long and lonely and it is just so exciting to get to go to the grocery store once a week.  When people ask what I do with all this free time I have I just tell them that I eat bonbons and watch Soap Operas.


It’s a joke that my husband and I so love! We know the truth.  I really do have a job as a Systems Operator/Management Specialist Level 3 of a local non-profit group.  It is a very demanding job that is more than a regular 40 hour a week job.  In order to do my job you have to be proficient in many fields and continue your education annually.


What gets me the most is that just because I am not on payroll I’m considered to not have a real job.  I have recently been thought of someone who needs extra activities to keep my mind busy.  I accepted a volunteer job in photography.  I told someone about it and that person wanted to know if I would like to borrow their camera.  I think if I was more of a bragger people would know all that I have done and can do, but I’m not a bragger.  Because I don’t go around sharing with others all of the talents that I have taught myself over the years doesn’t mean that I do not have these talents.


So I will be compiling a work of all of the things that I have done over the years.  I will be working hard to sell myself to be awarded credit for the things I have done in my life so far.  I am hoping that the people who review this work will find value in my work.  I will be bragging but only to earn the credit I believe that I deserve.  We will see what happens.


Yes, I feel a bit bitter over the fact that working people do not value the work of those people who do not get paid for what they do.  I’m happy to know that my Heavenly Father sees it all and knows the motives of my heart.

Just doing a little test!

I have a new computer and I’m testing out a new program that I can link to my blog.

A Miracle Happened Today!

Let me start with a little history.  Back in 1996 I bought fabric at the local fabric store to make my baby boy a quilt for his 1st birthday.  This fabric had pictures of Bible characters on it like, Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, David and Goliath and Moses.  I worked on it when my then baby son Devin was bouncing away in his Jonny-Jump-Up.  He would bounce, I would quilt, he would smile and would talk to him and quilt.  It is a very sweet memory to me.

When I gave him his quilt on his 1st birthday (Thanksgiving Day of 96') he seemed to love it from the start.  That quilt was still going to bed with him in 4th grade!

Well, when we moved to Oregon (for the 1st time) in April of 2006 something happened to the blanket.  By the time we got to our new home the quilt was no where to be found.  I thought that maybe after we settled in we would find it, but after time I realized that we must have lost it.

After I thought through the events of the trip, I think I figured out what happened.  The second night that we stayed in a hotel, two out of three of my boys got sick.....the throw-up kind of sick.  So I was up during the middle of the night and on into the wee hours of the morning washing blankets in the hotel laundry room.  I think out of shear exhaustion I must have forgotten the last load and left it behind.  By the time I figured this out it was too late to track it down by calling the hotel.

Devin was sad that his little quilt was gone forever.  I think I was the most upset because I have many memories tied to that precious thing.  I can't tell you how many times have I laid that over his little body after a long day, so glad that it was finally bed time.  Or how many times I heard him ask for his "blue blanket".  We would pack it up when he stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's or go spend the night at Aunt Wendy's house.  It was an extension of that child of mine.

A few weeks ago, when everyone else was in bed, I search the internet trying to find the same fabric that I used for that quilt.  My search was fruitless.  At some point I said a little prayer telling God that I would really like to find that fabric.

Here comes the good part! I was leaving JoAnn's Fabric Store today and as I was coming out the door a lady was approaching the entrance.  I looked at the fabric that she was carrying in her hand and it looked just like the fabric that I was looking for.  I asked her if I could see her fabric and to my amazement she was holding a piece that was from the very same line of fabric!  I told her my story of searching for the fabric, secretly hoping that she would be so kind and sell it to me.  I did ask to see what was printed on the outer edge, knowing that the design company is usually printed there.  It said Frabric Traditions copy write 1995.  I went to my car and immediately texted myself the information.

When I got home I did some searching on the computer and found it on ebay!!!  I purchased it and am so excited to remake this baby quilt.  It won't be the same quilt I know, but it will remind me of the precious memories of my almost 16 year old son when he was so little.  The one thing that it will remind me of the most is that God heard my prayer and he gave me this as a very special gift.

Here is the picture of the fabric as seen on the ebay ad:

 

A Soldier, The News, The Library and a Hot Shower

I don't know what exactly led me to the "Adopt A US Soldier" site a few weeks ago, but I ended up adopting a soldier.  I thought it would be fun to write to a soldier and encourage him or her.  I have been connected with a man who I think is serving in Afghanistan (I gather this by his address).  We have had a few correspondences over the last week and I'm excited to learn more about him.  I would not post anything about him here, that is information he shares with me and I wouldn't dream of posting it.  But I just want to say that I'm excited to have a new friend and thinking of him and praying for him has made me think of things a bit differently lately.

Last night my oldest son was watching the news.  I rarely watch the news, I don't know how much of it is true and how much of it is spun in one direction or another To be very frank, it depresses me.  So in order to help my own mental health I choose to stay away from it.  What I saw last night, in the short time I watched, was horrific.   Two people in Syria had been shot in the street and people on both sides of the street were trying to get their bodies out of the street.  I couldn't imagine living through that.  I can't imagine the mentality of people who have to live through things like that.  Are they constantly afraid, or do they live every day to the fullest knowing that tomorrow they or a loved one could be gone?

My awareness as an American has been enlarged over the past few years.  I am more aware of how fortunate I am.    I have a friend who isn't from this country who has enlightened me about the world and how other countries view Americans. My pastors wife from Modesto has had a passion for foreign affairs that has also made me realize how wonderful it is to live were the government is at least stable.  I didn't write perfect government or country.  There are some great places here and some awful places here, I know.  What I am saying is that I see that I have it really good compared to multitudes of people all over the world.

Today I took my two older boys to the library in Salem.  It is a very nice library, very spacious with lots of books.  I love the library.  I'm amazed at all the books written, realizing that there are only a few in any given library compared to all the books that are printed and on shelves all over the world.  But this microcosm of books delights my brain and tells me that there is a plethora of possibilities for learning!  For this cranial chic, that is exciting.  As I walked down one quiet row in the upper level of the library looking for a non-fictional biography I thought, "I'm spoiled".  I live where there is peace.  I do not have to fear coming into a public place, it was quiet there, and no one had a gun (at least that I could see).  I felt at peace.  I could let my boys roam around and I could do the same with great freedom.

After the earthquake in Japan I noticed a few simple things in my life that many of the people there would like to have.  When I step into a hot shower in the morning, I thank God for it.  It is a privilege to be in the privacy of my own home and have a hot shower.

Then I have to wonder why I was born into such a wonderful state in life.  I am not a rich girl, but compared to so many I am very wealthy.  My only response to what God has given me is to be humble, grateful and thankful to Him.  From that I want to share with others what I can.  I know that what I give can seem small.  Maybe all I give is one little baby quilt to a hospital as a member of a group by the name of Heavenly Angels in Need.  Maybe all I can do is thank a soldier for working in the US army that works toward my own personal freedom.  I could do a lot by doing a little.

I hope to encourage all who read this to think of the much they could do with the little they could give or do.  If we all just stepped out some it could really impact the world around us.  Here is one of my favorite quotes from Mother Teresa that I will leave you with:

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." 
— Mother Teresa

I don't profess to do and live with perfection.  There are many things that I need to work on.  But I do have a passion for taking hold of opportunities with braveness and step out and do good when you can.  Please, join me.  The people around you and I need your love and compassion.  Even if you feel a bit awkward, that's okay, awkward is better than regret.

Love to all who have spent time here with me,

Deanne