Passive Aggressive Road Rage

Today I took Jake to the dentist to get some work done on a tooth. The lady at the office took Jake to a little room to get an x-ray of the bad tooth. As we left the first room to go to the next, the dental assistant lady told him that he would get to choose the smell of the nitrous he was going to get. Now at this point you must know a little history. The boys have played a video game where they race cars and to get extra speed they use Nitrous. So now that you know this I can go on with the story. So after the dental lady says this, Jake looks up at me with a smile and says, "So if I fart I will go real fast!".............gas+nitrous=speed (isn't little boy math and logic great)!!?!!

Okay, so on the way home I am going down hwy. 99 South to Lodi. There is only two lanes, and on the left lane is a little Honda or Toyota with an mature woman looking to be in her 70's as the driver and a man in the passenger seat looking to be about 80ish and sporting a neck rest curved around his neck. I got behind her and she was only doing about 65, which on this highway that is slow! So I pull to the right lane and instantly I get this person in a white KIA on my tail. I hate it when someone rides my tail! She then pulls into the left lane and starts to tail this time soaked couple and this makes me really, really mad! So I decide to make sure she will be stuck, not able to get past us. My Trooper is now strategically going just fast enough to block my lane against the older couples car so that Miss. Rudeness will not be able to get past us. So for about two miles I do this, driving using both mirrors balancing my vehicle against their position. Finally, I notice that not only am I keeping Miss. Rudeness back but a whole slue of cars behind her and myself. Hmmmm...........this felt like some power to me...........not good power, but none the less I had stopped up the traffic. So knowing that I was doing to much of a power play (and this is a very rare thing I'm doing, I just hate for someone to bully the underdog). I speed up and pull in the left lane ahead of the "slow" couple and Mrs. White KIA Queen of the Road pulls around us and speeds off. I took a good look at her, a woman of about 50ish, now I'm really mad, she should know better. Well, maybe she has a bladder control issue and has wet herself and is in a rush to get home, you really have to give people the benefit of the doubt. ARGH, I hate it when people are rude!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh Sunday.

Ahhhh Sunday. I am trying to make Sunday a different day of the week. I have wanted to keep the Sabbath for a long time know, but didn't really know how being that I'm Mom and my work never ends. Other than going to church, and taking a nap, I couldn't really fathom what a day of rest would be. But I'm starting to understand.

Today, I didn't worry about the house very much. Things were left out and undone, but it was totally okay, I had better things to do. My aim was to rest, to take a break from the ordinary. Sewing is something that I love to do, so I sewed a little. I watched the boys swim and embroidered, I don't do much of that anymore. I also had a long phone conversation with an old friend that I had lost touch with, how nice to hear her voice again!

I still had to run to the grocery store, my pizza dough was awfully hard and I needed to do something else for dinner. I still cooked dinner and even did a little laundry, but on the whole this day was set apart to rest and do what was relaxing to me. I totally get now why God would have us rest. We need a break, for our bodies and our minds. We need a guiltless bread. Hmmmm........makes me think of my little 6 year old boy, who gets really moody, demanding and cries when he is tiered and needs to take a break and rest. I command him to rest. I know what is best for him even when he can't see that he is worn out and having a break down. Out of love, I make him rest. He doesn't want to, it must feel like punishment to him, but it is really an act of love and wisdom.

God knows what we need. Let me encourage you to find a way to make Sunday a restful day!

Nothing is Impossible with God

How is it possible to look at creation and not see the Creator? I so enjoy photographing the beauty that is God's creative expresion of His existance! Just in creation alone you can see how limitless His thoughts and abilities are. Then when you consider all the people of His creation, past, present, and future, it is amazing to even try and fathom his abilites to make people over and again and how different he makes us all.

How silly it must seem to God, that I worry about the future. Why would he leave me uncared for when he provides food for the animals. When I see the beauty of the flowers around me I realize that his abilities and possibilites are limitless! Praise God. My abilities and possibilites are limited and it is foolishness to put my hope in them, when I have a God that is more than able.

I struggle constantly with wanting more, or at least the ability to go get what I want when I want it. But not being able to do so, makes me rely on God. It makes me laugh to myself how God's ways are so the oppisite of the worlds ways. That is why I need to keep in the Word, renewing my mind, and trusting in Him.

My God, my Savior, who died to take my punishment for the sins I have done, made these things in these pictures. May God be glorifed! I thank Him for my eyes that can see them and for the camera that can capture them to share. All good gifts come from Him!

My Love/Hate Relationship with The Library

I love books! I wish that I had a house where I could have one of those old fashioned types of libraries and there would be walls of books from floor to ceiling with the ladders that roll along the shelves. Another dream would be for me to have a large budget that could be spent on Amazon.com for books.

Books to me are opportunities. My mother often said, "If you can read you can learn". I grew up with this saying embedded in my mind and I have taken it to my heart. I have an obsession with learning at times. I have a need to make the wheels in my brain go around and to have the gears frequently oiled. The more you learn and know, the more you learn that there is always more to know.

The library is such a wonderful resource. We have used the library in Visalia, McMinnville, Salem and now Lodi. It has been interesting to see how different these libraries are. The library in McMinnville was artistic and two story (we loved that one)! It had a wonderful room that was dedicated to children and it was a treat to visit there. There were two libraries in Salem. We went to the smaller of the two and this one wasn't down town and I felt it was safer to go to. This library was small but very efficient and well stocked. The kids could get a library card for free, but if I wanted one I was going to be charged $60 a year. The other option was that I could check out one book at a time for free, I took that option. The reason being was that we didn't live in Salem, but Keizer and therefore the charge to use their library.

I have a problem at every library I go to. No matter what I do to prevent it, I always have overdue books and thus fines. I hate library fines. You are supposed to check out the books for free, and the fines just go against the whole free system. I have often tried to pay up, get my account in order and start fresh. Then out of the blue it hits me again............the librarian says, "Um, you owe $8.64 in library fines." What? That can't be true! Argh. Not again! So I fork out the money and vow to never have a late fee ever again. A few months go by and lo and behold it happens again.

Well, today I had the whopper of them all. At Drew's request, we went to the library. He has become quiet the avid reader. I had some books that I checked out last week and was ready to take them back (and didn't want any late fee). We check the books in when we got to the library, then Jake loads up on Sponge Bob books and Drew wants me to ask the librarian to put a hold on a book that he wants (he is into The Edge Chronicles). I go to the desk, and this nice young gal, who has helped us a few times before, looks for the book on her computer (oh how I miss card files and the plain old Dewy Decimal System). As we are once again discussing over due books (and I'm wondering how these books so cleverly hide in my house, fearing that all the time the librarian is thinking we must be total slobs to loose books the way we do) another librarian comes to the counter with a book that I just checked in and says, "This one has water damage and it is still wet" (as to prove that it is all my fault). I take the book in my hands and am just beating myself up inside. So I ask what my options are, hmmm........well I can pay the fine which is the price of the book, or I can pay the price of the book and take it with me. At this point I am just disgusted. The book was a lovely paper back book of Donna Dewberry, who teaches you how to "One Stroke" paint. At least I can use the book in the future, it was all about painting wall murals. So you can bet your bottom dollar, when we buy a house again, I will be putting this book to work and there will be a stinking mural on every wall!

Ok, I tell the nice library lady (I thought the other one was very rude) just tell me how much I owe so I can just clean my slate. The book was $25.99 and the other fees totalled me in at $33. (and some odd cents). I wrote my check and walked out of the library wanting to scream!!!!

I told the kids from now on we are only getting two books at a time, yeah like that will just solve the problem. I am living by Murphy's Law and it is nickel and diming me to death!

Would anyone like me to paint a mural on their wall?

Sometimes the "Good Mom" visits!

The boys and I had a movie night tonight! We watched "The Spiderwick Chronicles", what a cute movie, well it was a bit gross in spots, but hey I used to think the "Grimlins" were cool. Afterward Jake got all the canned tomatoes and tomato paste out of the pantry (that is what they used in the movie to kill the bad monsters) and Drew danced around pretending to kill monsters. These are the times I love. Just having them fly around me being kids.

They have been swimming daily in the beautiful pool that belongs to our landlords. They are away for two months and we get to use the pool and backyard as if it were our own, how wonderful, and praise God! The pool is the saving grace of the summer. I have been feeling trapped here at the house. We live out in the country and every trip to town is about 10 miles in and back; with gas at the crazy price it is and my Troopers hungry appetite for it, I have to think about how often we take off. Jeff has been gone since Sunday (out of the state for business) and I have been personally brooding about not getting to get out of town. The days are long in the summer any way, but for Mrs. Social Butterfly me, being out in the country with neighbors that will not even greet you "Hello" it is a bit like tourture! We do have some very nice and friendly neighbors across the creek, but they are busy with their cows.

Thank the good Lord for phones! What would I do with out a life line to friends? Thank you April for the ear! And Jen, you have blessed me for the rest of my life with the chocolate fountain analogy! Thanks, I needed that!

I have learned over the past few years that I have more patients and endurance with my three guys than I have ever imagined. We have had long stretches of time together. I have dropped my many ideas of being a "good Mom" and I just go for "Mom" and take the "good" when I'm peaceful enough to handle it. Like today for example, I made sugar cookie dough with Jake. It is still sitting in the fridge, chilling, but at least I started something good. Also, I took the boys to the library this week, and have put up with "Guitar Hero". Yeah, way to go Mom, letting Devin get Guitar Hero with his money, that's a great way to introduce your kids to Rock music. What was I thinking. Oh, well, everything they have and do gets old an boring at some time.

I've come to be one with the force of the "Good Mom"! Sometimes she comes to visit and we all love her, then she has to leave because there is real life to live! "Pick up your towel and hang it up, no for the eighth time you can't have a cupcake for breakfast (it's not Saturday yet), get off your brother right now or you will not swim tomorrow...............don't sigh at me when I ask you to do something, do I sigh at you when I wash your clothes or make your dinner, we all work around here!" Yep, reality usually wins out!

There is something special about growing up

with your sister. It's that type of friendship

where you finish each others sentences and

you can just look across the room and know

what the other is thinking. Ah, the giggles,

the nights of camping out in the living room

eating pop tarts and iced aniamal cookies.

My sister paved the way for me, she doesn't

realize how much of what I used to do was because

she made it easy for me. God gave me her

to ease my anxiety, to be the wind beneth

my wings. My sister taught me about

so much, things that I needed to know

but only she would teach me in a way

that was okay to hear it. I love you sis

and I miss our times together.

Pics from the past!

The Opulent Distraction

I needed milk tonight, and then I discovered that I needed bread. Now that all my little boys are home I am going through food at a little bit quicker rate than when they were in school. The best price for milk and bread is at Costco. So off I went by myself to Costco, which is a treat because it means I get to linger at the book section. But before I got to the books I walked through the electronics section. I'm defiantly an electronics lover. I fixed the computer for Jake tonight and he declared that I was a tech-y!
I checked out the Digital SLR cameras, I have a great one, but they are always making them better. One has this great image stabilizer, oh how I would love to have that. Then I walked on and looked at a 750GB hard drive (I thought the price said $21.95 so I picked it up and saw the price of about $140.00 behind it)..... :o(
Rounding the corner there was more to want, use or just think that you should have. A thought came to mind..............

***But first I must interrupt that thought and tell you what I have been feeding my mind on the lately. Last week I was reading a history overview from some of Devin's homeschool curriculum of last year. Over and over I read about people with their faith in Christ being persecuted for their faith, even by the leaders in the Church. Then I started reading Devin's science material and the first chapter is really a history of science. Most of the major men in science where christian believers and they saw the glory of God in their search for truth in science. Finally,
I have started reading a book by John Piper, "Don't Waste Your Life". You can download it for free here: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/1593_Dont_Waste_Your_Life/

The book is about finding your joy in living a life for God's glory. I'm not all the way through the book, but what I am seeing that we are made for God's glory (not our own). It's a large horse pill to swallow. Some parts of the book are hard for me to wrap my mind around. But I can say that I find the most joy, even rapturous joy, when I am in the middle of doing what is glorifying God.

So now back to what came to my mind when I was in Costco........"What if all of this is a distraction?" Let me expound. What if all the stuff that we have before our eyes, the fun things like my sons new Guitar Hero game, and the ipod that plays movies, and the brand new Digital SLR and the new books that I would love to have from Costco are distractions that happily keep me away from what really life is all about? What if the man made stuff is replacing what people used to enjoy, the God made stuff like rivers, trees, birds and flowers. These are the very things that point us to Him. I know that many things of this decade can be used for the glory of God, but my point isn't to say that we should have none of these things. My point is that we work so hard in our lives for things that do not satisfy, things that look like fun but just add more busy to our life and not peace. We all want joy, we all want a full life. God created us with these desires deep within us. The thing is that our joy and our life being full all come from a relationship with Jesus Christ. Everything else is a distraction!

What would be like if all we could hear is the birds singing to God, or the coos of a baby (the infants will praise the Lord). What if we really did smell the flowers and cool off by the running waters of a river. I think that there are people out there that still enjoy what God created.....but I seem to think that main stream man enjoys more of what man has created. I'm just musing here, but it is something to think about. My laptop gives more glory to a tech-head, than do my roses in the front give glory to God.

I know that I am by no means poor. But when I walk through Costco there are so many fun things that I cannot buy, that is not where my money should go. I could get really depressed and go through this whole "Why can't I have more" feeling (I do at times and I have to fight it).

But it is for my joy that I can't have whatever new thing I see and want. It is a greater joy knowing that God has supplied all my needs, and that he wants me to be thankful to him for all that I have. I haven't mastered this yet, it is a life long pursuit for me, but to trust in God brings unimaginable peace and joy! Therefore, I can walk through any store, or browse any website and know that my God shall supply all my needs, according to his riches in glory! If I don't have it, or the means to get it, (not to say that I haven't charged stuff on the credit card that I don't need - another area to work on), I don't have to have it.

Another thing that I have learned as of late, is that I don't need a lot. We are living in a very small house for 5 people. I long for a bigger house and an attached garage and a yard of our own. But we are doing just fine with what we have. The lesson here has come from this small house. I can only fit so much in here. The kitchen is small and I only have so much room to put stuff, so I got rid of the things that I didn't need. Our bedroom doubles as Jeff's home office (which I do not like, but it works). He gets 3/4 of the closet so that he can store work stuff, you can figure out what my part is. The only other storage downstairs in the space under the stairs, and a broom closet in the laundry room. With such limited storage space, I have either donated it to the Goodwill or boxed it up and put it in storage in the garage (that is about 50 feet from the front door). All is good! I don't need a bunch of stuff and truly it is very free-ing!!

To not have stuff sorta lessens the drag on your life.

Now I need to work on the distraction of the computer...................................that one is a big one for me!

This is for my Oregon Friends!

This one is for my Oregon friends, I'm sorry it's still not summer yet! I know that summer will come for you too, be patient!