This in reply to a dear friend's blog:
http://thecorums.blogspot.com
My dear friend, you know who you are, this is for you.
I love your latest blog post, because I see myself in you, my younger self. Your angst was my angst. Your fears and thoughts were my fears and thoughts. I'm proud of your for writing them out and sharing them with the world.
You, my dear, have grown up in a world (and live in it still) of comparison and competition. You know who the key players are and you know who has influenced you. If I could name your social illness I would call it: Social ADD or Look-at-me-iddis! It's like getting the flu, it gets passed around and everyone seems to get it a few times in their life. Let me assure you, strong health people get better and go on with there lives. (smile)
I have good news and bad news. The good news is that there is a cure. The bad news is that the cure is painful, pain that you can endure but painful no doubt. The vehicle of pain and the cure is summed up in a simple word, trials.
You and I have walked through an awful trial at one time. You know how much I suffered and you were there right along side of me to lift me up and help carry me along. It was hard and confusing, but I grew and God used it to refine my character. Since then I have been through numerous trials of various kinds, like James talks about in the Bible. And yes they have tested my faith. But the outcome of many of those trials has been a deeper faith and trust in God and a clearer view of what matters in life.
Decorating is fun. Baking wonderful cookies is a joy. Dressing in style is an amazing feeling. Loosing 10 pounds is a great success. All good things of planet earth. But the problem with all of these wonderful things of earth is that they quickly fade, you can't keep hold of them because they are illusive. So to keep the feeling, or the admiration of others you have to keep preforming. Think Britney Spears, she had to keep doing more sensational stuff to keep the media's attention on her. Once she stopped she has to just live a normal life dealing with the problems of her life, her kids and just normal stuff like laundry. We all live that desire to have attention on a smaller scale. Instead of grabbing for the media's attention we seek approval of people from church, family and friends and people at work. When the new hair style gets old, when the delish cookie is eaten and forgotten and when the new designer color on the wall fades into the background we are back to square one of needing to do something great to get attention and approval. It is all fleeting and you have to chase it to keep up with it. It is so tiring to do.
There is a better way, and you don't do it overnight. Simply put, walking with Jesus is the cure.
If I were to prescribe your first dose of medicine I would have you go to Scripture House and have you buy a copy of "If Only I Had A Green Nose" by Max Lucado. It is a book for kids, but I think it just might be targeted to the parents that read it to their kids.
The second dose of medicine for Social ADD would be to read through all four gospels.
Then pick a few people who love and support you when you are ugly, stinky and have no Pottery Barn within site of your house! This would include your wonderful hubby and your best friend who I think is Michelle. They get you. They love you. They love you for you on the inside and not how well you bake, photograph, or decorate.
Lastly, bake, decorate, photography, write for you! Do what you enjoy and share it with the people who love you for more than what you can bring to the table. Don't worry about the open house, it's a strange local tradition. Not everyone in the world is so HGTV about their own homes. I have met some of these people and I really like them!
Being in your 20's is like unto a caterpillar coming out of it's cocoon. There is stretching, striving and busting open. It is a process that takes time and can look ugly. God is patient with every butterfly that is going through the process, he created it. You are that beautiful butterfly, my dear. You have so much to give to this world and are crazy talented! I see such beauty in you.
Here is a secret in life that few can grasp: It is better to give than to receive. It is a beautiful thing to give a compliment, to pray with a hurting soul, to bring a meal to someone (you know how I feel about that). When you give, you are able to take your eyes off of yourself and your worldly status and join in the joy of life how God intends it to be.
You are on the right path. It is painful stepping away from the norm. The other side is freedom and beauty.
Warning: the struggle last for a life time, but the more you practice the cure the less you are inflected with the illness.
Love to my wonderful friend Jen who was there when I needed her.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Plaph!
A person who has much internal conversations and thoughts has a difficult time keeping it inside because there is just not enough room. Many people can not understand why some people need an outlet for expression. With out expression some of us would shrivel up and die. Listen to what type of music people make and you will know what is going on inside. Jesus tells us that from the over flow of the heart the mouth speaks.
How can a person keep silent when there is so much on the inside dying to get out? What do you say when you are told to not say anything at all? Do you just stop speaking and expressing? Do you crawl into the whole that you want to go and hide in?
Life doesn't always give you roses. Life is good at giving you lemons, sour and bitter. Yeah, making lemon aid is such a good idea.....but what if you have run out of sugar?
How can a person keep silent when there is so much on the inside dying to get out? What do you say when you are told to not say anything at all? Do you just stop speaking and expressing? Do you crawl into the whole that you want to go and hide in?
Life doesn't always give you roses. Life is good at giving you lemons, sour and bitter. Yeah, making lemon aid is such a good idea.....but what if you have run out of sugar?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Ramblings that end in a tribute to my marriage/ or Stream of thought blogging.
I just feel like writing.
Stuff happens to me daily. Life seems really strange at times. I go the gamete of having Hawaiian Fruit punch dropped behind me, in Winco, by my 8 year-old-son, resulting in red splotches up the back end of me. What woman is okay with red splotches up her back end? The other end of the spectrum is very serious stuff, having a knowledge of weird stuff going on in peoples lives and not knowing what to do with the information.
My heart wants the best. So in the case of the Hawaiian punch, I try my best to comfort my very remorseful young son about the accident and suck up my pride and deal with my embarrassment. In the case of the weird stuff I come across, I turn to my pastor for advise. In his wisdom, his answers are much more mild than my impulses. Yet, my heart is continually uneasy.
More stuff. I walk into the grocery store yesterday and one of the ladies who works at the register waves and talks to me across many feet of store, she wants to know where I have been. Then she walks over to me and gives me a big hug. How sweet, I'm thinking. What warrants such love from a lady at the grocery store? I did offer to have coffee with her when I knew she was down.....was that what endured her to me? I then go on with my shopping with my middle 11 year old son. He wanted to get a Vitamin water to share with me, so instead of my usual "No" answer, I said yes. We drank, finished shopping, and went to go to check-out where the lady mentioned above was. My middle son likes to pretend that he is a warrior of some sorts and has imaginary fights, yes even in the grocery store. I have grown accustom to it and let him be strange (after all, he did get his inhibitions from his mother)! Any of you reading here that have spent any time with my as a young girl or the woman I am today, knows that I love to be silly and don't really care who sees! The lady at the check out noticed that he was going to fight one of the watermelons on display and was going to say a sarcastic joke but refrained and told me the joke instead. I was trying to tell her that he was fighting an imaginary villain but she jumped in and thought I was telling her that he was autistic. No, he isn't........he just has too many of his mothers genes in his DNA, that allows him to be himself inspite of what someone might think. So I got all my items checked out, I paid and left. After we got outside I realized that I didn't pay for the Vitamin water that he was holding. So we went right back into the store to pay.
The lady who checked us out gave me a funny look and I told her that we forgot to pay. She had a few people in her line, so she told me to go to "Mike" at the quick check out. Now, Mike is a handsome, well groomed and friendly man that I would guess to be about 50. He has always been very friendly to me.....at times a little too friendly and I suspected that he was interested in me (but I wear a wedding ring and am very devoted to my husband). The only time that he wasn't friendly, was when I came through with my handsome husband. He wouldn't hardly look at me or Jeff for that matter. Hummm.....I thought it a bit odd. I told my husband about what I noticed that day and how odd I thought it was. So we joke that he is my boyfriend at Raley's. I walked right up and said that we stole the drink and we needed to come back to pay. He told me that I seemed like the type that would be honest. Actually, I was very flattered by the comment because I highly value being honest when it comes to ethics, as such. My comment back was that it was nice to know that I was perceived that way. His replay, "Your pretty and honest". I thanked him and walked away trying not to burst out in laughter. My 11 year old son heard the comment and was dumbfounded. I was flattered that someone other than my husband found me pretty and was a bit taken aback by him saying that, was it a compliment or was it inappropriate?
I left the store and just had to laugh! I'm approaching my 18th wedding anniversary, have owned up to the fact that there are wrinkles on my face and the fact that my three pregnancy and my disdain for "working out" has left me with a woman's figure not the girlish one that I miss so much.
I couldn't wait to tell Jeff what happened and let him know that he has competition (we joke like that). It was just too funny. I haven't been flirted with (besides by my wonderful husband) in I don't know how long. My son was freaked out, he thought it was very weird. All I could think of was how funny it was to me as a kid, when men flirted with my Mom, and how she would smile and have an embarrassed look on her face at the same time. It was very amusing to me when that happened!
Well with every ying there is a yang. (I don't know much about the ying and yang, so I am not making a spiritual reference, just a metaphor here.) I walked into the church later that day, to pick up my youngest son from VBS. I was told by a young boy coming down the hall that I had the same hair style as his grandma. Okay, I was feeling all good about myself and now I'm being compared to a kid's grandma. He fumbled through his words, I think he realized he made a blunder. I asked how old his grandma was and he said 40 something. Okay, I suppose if I had a kid in my teens, and that kid had a kid in their teens, I could very well be a grandma by now. So I mellowed a bit.
There are times when we unfortunately are faced with our own mortality. Then there are days that we have to realized that time has passed and has taken us along for the ride. Being flirted with by a 50 year old man and being told my hair looks like a grandma's was a bit of a punch in the gut.
I am so grateful for the life God has given me, all of the years. There is good and bad in the many years. My character is being shaped daily by so many of the experiences I have had. I continue to have my silly free spirit and yet the depth of my thoughts and feelings that can only be seen by a few. I guess that is way I write here. Self expression is sort of therapy.
Eighteen years ago I was counting down the days until my wedding. Fast forward to today and I'm counting down the days that I get to spend alone with my husband. I can't wait for our little get away vacation together this weekend. What a rock he has been in my life. I wouldn't be the same woman today if I didn't have him. He is the person that I can say anything to and he understands, or at least tries to. He can see my heart and knows my motives sometimes before I do.
So here is to 18 years of growing, fighting it out, figuring it out and loving each other through it all! Here is to being young and stupid and rushing into marriage (we met and 11 months later we said I do). No, I wasn't stupid! I knew what I wanted, I knew what I didn't want and Jeff was the answer to my prayers. He took my heart and loved it and nurtured it to health with his unconditional love. He allowed me to be me, silly and serious, and puts up with the wit that often flies off of my tongue in his direction. So after 18 years, three babies later, wrinkles and trials and triumphs......her is to you my Mr. Darcy. I love you.
Stuff happens to me daily. Life seems really strange at times. I go the gamete of having Hawaiian Fruit punch dropped behind me, in Winco, by my 8 year-old-son, resulting in red splotches up the back end of me. What woman is okay with red splotches up her back end? The other end of the spectrum is very serious stuff, having a knowledge of weird stuff going on in peoples lives and not knowing what to do with the information.
My heart wants the best. So in the case of the Hawaiian punch, I try my best to comfort my very remorseful young son about the accident and suck up my pride and deal with my embarrassment. In the case of the weird stuff I come across, I turn to my pastor for advise. In his wisdom, his answers are much more mild than my impulses. Yet, my heart is continually uneasy.
More stuff. I walk into the grocery store yesterday and one of the ladies who works at the register waves and talks to me across many feet of store, she wants to know where I have been. Then she walks over to me and gives me a big hug. How sweet, I'm thinking. What warrants such love from a lady at the grocery store? I did offer to have coffee with her when I knew she was down.....was that what endured her to me? I then go on with my shopping with my middle 11 year old son. He wanted to get a Vitamin water to share with me, so instead of my usual "No" answer, I said yes. We drank, finished shopping, and went to go to check-out where the lady mentioned above was. My middle son likes to pretend that he is a warrior of some sorts and has imaginary fights, yes even in the grocery store. I have grown accustom to it and let him be strange (after all, he did get his inhibitions from his mother)! Any of you reading here that have spent any time with my as a young girl or the woman I am today, knows that I love to be silly and don't really care who sees! The lady at the check out noticed that he was going to fight one of the watermelons on display and was going to say a sarcastic joke but refrained and told me the joke instead. I was trying to tell her that he was fighting an imaginary villain but she jumped in and thought I was telling her that he was autistic. No, he isn't........he just has too many of his mothers genes in his DNA, that allows him to be himself inspite of what someone might think. So I got all my items checked out, I paid and left. After we got outside I realized that I didn't pay for the Vitamin water that he was holding. So we went right back into the store to pay.
The lady who checked us out gave me a funny look and I told her that we forgot to pay. She had a few people in her line, so she told me to go to "Mike" at the quick check out. Now, Mike is a handsome, well groomed and friendly man that I would guess to be about 50. He has always been very friendly to me.....at times a little too friendly and I suspected that he was interested in me (but I wear a wedding ring and am very devoted to my husband). The only time that he wasn't friendly, was when I came through with my handsome husband. He wouldn't hardly look at me or Jeff for that matter. Hummm.....I thought it a bit odd. I told my husband about what I noticed that day and how odd I thought it was. So we joke that he is my boyfriend at Raley's. I walked right up and said that we stole the drink and we needed to come back to pay. He told me that I seemed like the type that would be honest. Actually, I was very flattered by the comment because I highly value being honest when it comes to ethics, as such. My comment back was that it was nice to know that I was perceived that way. His replay, "Your pretty and honest". I thanked him and walked away trying not to burst out in laughter. My 11 year old son heard the comment and was dumbfounded. I was flattered that someone other than my husband found me pretty and was a bit taken aback by him saying that, was it a compliment or was it inappropriate?
I left the store and just had to laugh! I'm approaching my 18th wedding anniversary, have owned up to the fact that there are wrinkles on my face and the fact that my three pregnancy and my disdain for "working out" has left me with a woman's figure not the girlish one that I miss so much.
I couldn't wait to tell Jeff what happened and let him know that he has competition (we joke like that). It was just too funny. I haven't been flirted with (besides by my wonderful husband) in I don't know how long. My son was freaked out, he thought it was very weird. All I could think of was how funny it was to me as a kid, when men flirted with my Mom, and how she would smile and have an embarrassed look on her face at the same time. It was very amusing to me when that happened!
Well with every ying there is a yang. (I don't know much about the ying and yang, so I am not making a spiritual reference, just a metaphor here.) I walked into the church later that day, to pick up my youngest son from VBS. I was told by a young boy coming down the hall that I had the same hair style as his grandma. Okay, I was feeling all good about myself and now I'm being compared to a kid's grandma. He fumbled through his words, I think he realized he made a blunder. I asked how old his grandma was and he said 40 something. Okay, I suppose if I had a kid in my teens, and that kid had a kid in their teens, I could very well be a grandma by now. So I mellowed a bit.
There are times when we unfortunately are faced with our own mortality. Then there are days that we have to realized that time has passed and has taken us along for the ride. Being flirted with by a 50 year old man and being told my hair looks like a grandma's was a bit of a punch in the gut.
I am so grateful for the life God has given me, all of the years. There is good and bad in the many years. My character is being shaped daily by so many of the experiences I have had. I continue to have my silly free spirit and yet the depth of my thoughts and feelings that can only be seen by a few. I guess that is way I write here. Self expression is sort of therapy.
Eighteen years ago I was counting down the days until my wedding. Fast forward to today and I'm counting down the days that I get to spend alone with my husband. I can't wait for our little get away vacation together this weekend. What a rock he has been in my life. I wouldn't be the same woman today if I didn't have him. He is the person that I can say anything to and he understands, or at least tries to. He can see my heart and knows my motives sometimes before I do.
So here is to 18 years of growing, fighting it out, figuring it out and loving each other through it all! Here is to being young and stupid and rushing into marriage (we met and 11 months later we said I do). No, I wasn't stupid! I knew what I wanted, I knew what I didn't want and Jeff was the answer to my prayers. He took my heart and loved it and nurtured it to health with his unconditional love. He allowed me to be me, silly and serious, and puts up with the wit that often flies off of my tongue in his direction. So after 18 years, three babies later, wrinkles and trials and triumphs......her is to you my Mr. Darcy. I love you.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Errands
I have seem to been over taken by errands lately.
I think it would be a very wise thing to set aside a day for errands. The only problem with this idea, is that I would be totally worn out by all the places I had to go. I wonder if I am having a problem with not being efficient or if other women out there are running as much as I am.
I am constantly thinking that I can manage my life better. I have read books and some women seem to think that if you have a calendar or notebook that you can plan everything out in, you would then be able to go about everything more efficiently. The authors of these books, I would like to know, do they have kids living at home? Everyday is a new challenge. Everyday has it's own set of ups and downs. If I actually take the advice of these authors who have the answers, and plan out my day, it always is the day that has the biggest interruptions.
I make list, cross things off the list, and then add more things to the list. Yes, I get things done. The house gets cleaned (not all at once anymore). Oh, shoot, I just remembered that I need to sit down and pay some bills!!!!!! And with that thought, I am reminded of why I erratically run so many errands. I have a great fear of forgetting to do something that is important. I am interrupted in my thought life all the time. If I do not go and take care of the thing that is on my mind right now, I just might forget to do it. But it just seems to be taking so much time, these foes of mine, the errands.
Let's see, maybe I should make Tuesday and Friday my errand day. Yes, this is a wonderful idea! The idea is just as good as all the list and plans that I make and tape them to my refrigerator door. Yes, they work for 5 days to a week and then something happens to get me off track. I guess I'm just going to have to accept that I work best by flying by the seat of my pants and following the creative impulses of my mind and heart. It all gets done, eventually.
I think it would be a very wise thing to set aside a day for errands. The only problem with this idea, is that I would be totally worn out by all the places I had to go. I wonder if I am having a problem with not being efficient or if other women out there are running as much as I am.
I am constantly thinking that I can manage my life better. I have read books and some women seem to think that if you have a calendar or notebook that you can plan everything out in, you would then be able to go about everything more efficiently. The authors of these books, I would like to know, do they have kids living at home? Everyday is a new challenge. Everyday has it's own set of ups and downs. If I actually take the advice of these authors who have the answers, and plan out my day, it always is the day that has the biggest interruptions.
I make list, cross things off the list, and then add more things to the list. Yes, I get things done. The house gets cleaned (not all at once anymore). Oh, shoot, I just remembered that I need to sit down and pay some bills!!!!!! And with that thought, I am reminded of why I erratically run so many errands. I have a great fear of forgetting to do something that is important. I am interrupted in my thought life all the time. If I do not go and take care of the thing that is on my mind right now, I just might forget to do it. But it just seems to be taking so much time, these foes of mine, the errands.
Let's see, maybe I should make Tuesday and Friday my errand day. Yes, this is a wonderful idea! The idea is just as good as all the list and plans that I make and tape them to my refrigerator door. Yes, they work for 5 days to a week and then something happens to get me off track. I guess I'm just going to have to accept that I work best by flying by the seat of my pants and following the creative impulses of my mind and heart. It all gets done, eventually.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
It's All Over, I'm 40!
Yep, today is the day I turned 40.
It's all over.
I'm done.
No turning back........................................................
I've come a long way baby! I done with always second guessing myself. I'm over what people think of me! Who cares. I know my self now! It matters more what I think of me. Yep, no going back to thinking everyone else must be right and I must be in the wrong. I've lived. I've learned. Sure I'm wrong, but not always. And if someone ever tries to tell me who I am, ever again, it will be like water off of a ducks back. No one needs to tell me who I am, because I know myself better than ever. I know my weaknesses, what I have to work on. I know my strengths and talents, too.
I was dreading this birthday. I always thought 40 sounded old. My Mom's best friend died at 39 and that was terribly sad. I was 17 at the time and thought that at least she got to live her life and do everything (at least everything that I wanted to get to do at that time in my life). So since I was 17, I thought 40 was a fully lived life. Ha! I have only just begun!
The 10 years of living through my 30 was no walk in the park. I have been through the unexpected, there have been many growing pains, mistakes and trials. I have doubted myself, tried and weighed my motives and wondered if I was on the right path. I have been uprooted, rejected, and deeply hurt. I have been scared to death, doubting and full of dread. I have walked straight into the unknown and started life all over. Yes, at times I have felt so beaten down I wasn't sure how to stand up straight and continue on. But then there was the great transformation......................
I have been a believer in Jesus since I was 6 years old. I have walked in my faith through childhood, the teen years, my young adult years of marriage and childbirth, and have hung on tight through the trials of my 30's. God never left and he never failed. He has put me through the fire and I have found that he is my greatest treasure! Each step of the way he has lovely shaped my life and has places passions and dreams into my heart. I love him now more than ever. I trust him now more than I ever did. I can see how through the bad times, he carries his own through. Through each trial his child goes through he is calling that child closer to his heart, calling his child to look away from this world to see his face, his way, his love.
I'm over the hill! That's right, for me, in my life, I am over the hill of wondering who I am and who God has made me to be. And let me tell you the other side is sweet green pasture! I am beginning. I am saying "Hello" to the second chapter of my life! I'm looking forward to living it all out for my Lord Jesus. I want to be the woman who loves. I want to be the woman who doesn't care if some one is watching and do what is right and follow my Lord. I'm excited for what is ahead.
Yes, when I look in the mirror I see the wrinkles around the eyes. Yes, I have aged and will have to accept that with the passing of time. But I will honestly have to remember I really don't care what people look like on the outside. I care most about what I can see on the inside. The really cool thing about aging is that you can work on becoming more and more beautiful on the inside and it doesn't cost a dime of miracle cream!
I am thankful for every part of my past. Of course I wish I had a time machine and could go back and do somethings over. I wish I would have guarded my heart when I was young. I wish I didn't worry how clean my house was when my first baby was born. I wish I didn't worry so much about fitting in when I was in my 20's and was more myself. But the thing is, every negative and positive thing in my life has made me who I am today. I know I still have a long way to go. There is so much of life that I have never experienced. I don't plan on ever being old. I have a young spirit and do not plan on that ever changing. I will be dancing at my grandkids weddings when I'm 80! I do hope to gain wisdom and grace. I want to make a loving mark on every life that God allows me to touch. I have always felt love inside of me bigger than myself and can't help but love strongly and caring deeply. If I have known someone and we were in some way friends.....I will always care about you. I plan on being that same person for the rest of my life. But today I am turning over a new leaf.............I am stepping into the tomorrow of my life with a stronger love and stronger passion than ever before!
I will not be old until the day after I die. Then I will really not be old at all because I will be with my Lord, with a new body, in heaven!!!!!
It's all over.
I'm done.
No turning back........................................................
I've come a long way baby! I done with always second guessing myself. I'm over what people think of me! Who cares. I know my self now! It matters more what I think of me. Yep, no going back to thinking everyone else must be right and I must be in the wrong. I've lived. I've learned. Sure I'm wrong, but not always. And if someone ever tries to tell me who I am, ever again, it will be like water off of a ducks back. No one needs to tell me who I am, because I know myself better than ever. I know my weaknesses, what I have to work on. I know my strengths and talents, too.
I was dreading this birthday. I always thought 40 sounded old. My Mom's best friend died at 39 and that was terribly sad. I was 17 at the time and thought that at least she got to live her life and do everything (at least everything that I wanted to get to do at that time in my life). So since I was 17, I thought 40 was a fully lived life. Ha! I have only just begun!
The 10 years of living through my 30 was no walk in the park. I have been through the unexpected, there have been many growing pains, mistakes and trials. I have doubted myself, tried and weighed my motives and wondered if I was on the right path. I have been uprooted, rejected, and deeply hurt. I have been scared to death, doubting and full of dread. I have walked straight into the unknown and started life all over. Yes, at times I have felt so beaten down I wasn't sure how to stand up straight and continue on. But then there was the great transformation......................
I have been a believer in Jesus since I was 6 years old. I have walked in my faith through childhood, the teen years, my young adult years of marriage and childbirth, and have hung on tight through the trials of my 30's. God never left and he never failed. He has put me through the fire and I have found that he is my greatest treasure! Each step of the way he has lovely shaped my life and has places passions and dreams into my heart. I love him now more than ever. I trust him now more than I ever did. I can see how through the bad times, he carries his own through. Through each trial his child goes through he is calling that child closer to his heart, calling his child to look away from this world to see his face, his way, his love.
I'm over the hill! That's right, for me, in my life, I am over the hill of wondering who I am and who God has made me to be. And let me tell you the other side is sweet green pasture! I am beginning. I am saying "Hello" to the second chapter of my life! I'm looking forward to living it all out for my Lord Jesus. I want to be the woman who loves. I want to be the woman who doesn't care if some one is watching and do what is right and follow my Lord. I'm excited for what is ahead.
Yes, when I look in the mirror I see the wrinkles around the eyes. Yes, I have aged and will have to accept that with the passing of time. But I will honestly have to remember I really don't care what people look like on the outside. I care most about what I can see on the inside. The really cool thing about aging is that you can work on becoming more and more beautiful on the inside and it doesn't cost a dime of miracle cream!
I am thankful for every part of my past. Of course I wish I had a time machine and could go back and do somethings over. I wish I would have guarded my heart when I was young. I wish I didn't worry how clean my house was when my first baby was born. I wish I didn't worry so much about fitting in when I was in my 20's and was more myself. But the thing is, every negative and positive thing in my life has made me who I am today. I know I still have a long way to go. There is so much of life that I have never experienced. I don't plan on ever being old. I have a young spirit and do not plan on that ever changing. I will be dancing at my grandkids weddings when I'm 80! I do hope to gain wisdom and grace. I want to make a loving mark on every life that God allows me to touch. I have always felt love inside of me bigger than myself and can't help but love strongly and caring deeply. If I have known someone and we were in some way friends.....I will always care about you. I plan on being that same person for the rest of my life. But today I am turning over a new leaf.............I am stepping into the tomorrow of my life with a stronger love and stronger passion than ever before!
I will not be old until the day after I die. Then I will really not be old at all because I will be with my Lord, with a new body, in heaven!!!!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A New Song I Heard Tonight
As I was lying down with my youngest son when he went to bed, I heard a new song on the radio. Oh, this was a very new type of song. This was a beautiful yet piercing type of song. I would like to take the liberty to post the lyrics here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This song is sung by Todd Agnew and he gives thanks to Matthew for the lyrics.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This song is sung by Todd Agnew and he gives thanks to Matthew for the lyrics.
Lyrics to My Jesus :
Which Jesus do you follow,
Which Jesus do you serve
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ,
Why do you look so much like the world
Cause My Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars,
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
or do we pray to blessed with with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sands
My Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars,
He loved the poor and accosted the rich,
So which one do you want to be
Who is this that You follow,
This picture of the American dream,
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side,
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet
holy
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion,
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins,
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part,
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him
My Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and the least of
these,
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable,
So which one do you want to be,
Cause
My Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet,
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
And,
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus
Not a posterchild for American prosperity,
but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus
but I'm not sure what that means to be like
You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You,
love like You but then
You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I wanna be like you Jesus
I wanna be Like my Jesus
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Meek Not Weak
I'm slowly digesting Matthew chapter 5:5 in my Bible.
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth" is the verse that has been on my mind.
The word meek will most likely conjure up different ideas, in the minds of different people. What do you think of when you hear the word meek?
Meekness is an attribute or characteristic of someone. I would dare to say, that meekness makes most of us uncomfortable. To be meek in today's world may look like you are weak, or you may fear that to be meek you would have to be weak. Good News! To be meek doesn't mean you are weak at all. Someone who is a very strong person can be meek.
Let's boil it down to this, someone who is a meek person is a humble person. First, it is of most importance to be humble toward God. In order to receive His salvation a person must humble themselves before God and acknowledge that they are a sinner in need of forgiveness from a Holy and Righteous God. It is a meek person who puts their total trust in the sacrifice that Christ Jesus gave, when he shed his blood on the cross for their sins. Not trusting in their own goodness or good works, is taking their own pride out of the equation. When a person does so, they are humbling themselves before God, and putting their total trust in Him. To be meek is to understand your position with God, coming humbly under his authority and plan.
Consider this Bible verse: "This is the on I esteem; he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word" Issiah 66:2. Each of these things mentioned in this verse are meek. To be humble is meek. To be contrite in spirit is to be repentant and sorry for your sins, and that is meek. When I tremble at God's word, I am walking under the authority of God and that is meek.
What about being meek in every day life? I think this is the tougher part.
Let's look again at words that describe meek. When studying this word in my Word Study Bible, I found these words to describe meekness: gentle, humble, considerate, courtesy, variant. I had to look up variant because it wasn't making sense to me in this context. Mr. Webster's dictionary tells me that variant means: something different from others of its kind. Now I get it! When a person is meek, they are different from others, it's not natural but supernatural!
I love to meet meek people and have them as a part of my life. There is a man who comes to my mind when I think of meek. Charles is a gentleman in the Sunday School class that Jeff, my husband, and I attend. Charles is full of Biblical knowledge and wisdom. When he speaks up to share during the class he doesn't promote himself, unlike another person who has a lot of his sentences that start with the word "I". No, Charles isn't about himself, he is about loving and serving Christ Jesus. He is a meek man and I love every chance I get to visit with him.
The Bible teaches to do to others as we would have them do to us. I need to treat others with meekness, just as I would want to be treated. I need to humble myself and consider not only my interest but also the interest of others. I would want others to be considerate and have courtesy with me, I need to do the same. I need to be mindful of others feelings and be gentle in how I respond to people. And right now,at this moment, I'm remembering that I need to even be gentle with my husband, and consider his feelings more. Ouch!
Now let me tell you, at times this is easy and other times I really fail, ask my husband. So for me, I will need to continually work on being meek. Praise God, as a believer in Christ, I have the power of the Holy Spirit to be meek. So, we will work on it together.
Jesus tells us that the meek will inherit the earth. What does it mean to "inherit the earth"? To inherit something means that you get to have something that belonged to someone else who is no longer living. So could this mean that the meek will get to have a future earth when this one passes away? I'm not completely sure what this means. Will I inherit the earth now if I am meek or will it be in the future? In 2 Peter 3:13 it is written, "But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness". I think part of the answer to my question is that if I am meek (remember that the most important act of meekness is toward God), I will inherit a new heaven and a new earth. Oh, what a reward!
I used to sing a song as a teenager at my church. Some of the lyrics are as follows: Make me a servant humble and meek, Lord let me lift up those who are week, And my the prayer of my heart always be, Make me a servant, Make me a servant, Make me a servant, I pray.
I have to be honest with you here. This is hard core stuff, so just give me a little bit more of your time. When I am at my happiest, when I am most fulfilled, when I have the greatest joy, is when I am serving another person for the glory of God. If being a humble and meek servant, as the song lyrics say is the prayer of your heart, then you will find that "sweet spot" in this life!
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth" is the verse that has been on my mind.
The word meek will most likely conjure up different ideas, in the minds of different people. What do you think of when you hear the word meek?
Meekness is an attribute or characteristic of someone. I would dare to say, that meekness makes most of us uncomfortable. To be meek in today's world may look like you are weak, or you may fear that to be meek you would have to be weak. Good News! To be meek doesn't mean you are weak at all. Someone who is a very strong person can be meek.
Let's boil it down to this, someone who is a meek person is a humble person. First, it is of most importance to be humble toward God. In order to receive His salvation a person must humble themselves before God and acknowledge that they are a sinner in need of forgiveness from a Holy and Righteous God. It is a meek person who puts their total trust in the sacrifice that Christ Jesus gave, when he shed his blood on the cross for their sins. Not trusting in their own goodness or good works, is taking their own pride out of the equation. When a person does so, they are humbling themselves before God, and putting their total trust in Him. To be meek is to understand your position with God, coming humbly under his authority and plan.
Consider this Bible verse: "This is the on I esteem; he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word" Issiah 66:2. Each of these things mentioned in this verse are meek. To be humble is meek. To be contrite in spirit is to be repentant and sorry for your sins, and that is meek. When I tremble at God's word, I am walking under the authority of God and that is meek.
What about being meek in every day life? I think this is the tougher part.
Let's look again at words that describe meek. When studying this word in my Word Study Bible, I found these words to describe meekness: gentle, humble, considerate, courtesy, variant. I had to look up variant because it wasn't making sense to me in this context. Mr. Webster's dictionary tells me that variant means: something different from others of its kind. Now I get it! When a person is meek, they are different from others, it's not natural but supernatural!
I love to meet meek people and have them as a part of my life. There is a man who comes to my mind when I think of meek. Charles is a gentleman in the Sunday School class that Jeff, my husband, and I attend. Charles is full of Biblical knowledge and wisdom. When he speaks up to share during the class he doesn't promote himself, unlike another person who has a lot of his sentences that start with the word "I". No, Charles isn't about himself, he is about loving and serving Christ Jesus. He is a meek man and I love every chance I get to visit with him.
The Bible teaches to do to others as we would have them do to us. I need to treat others with meekness, just as I would want to be treated. I need to humble myself and consider not only my interest but also the interest of others. I would want others to be considerate and have courtesy with me, I need to do the same. I need to be mindful of others feelings and be gentle in how I respond to people. And right now,at this moment, I'm remembering that I need to even be gentle with my husband, and consider his feelings more. Ouch!
Now let me tell you, at times this is easy and other times I really fail, ask my husband. So for me, I will need to continually work on being meek. Praise God, as a believer in Christ, I have the power of the Holy Spirit to be meek. So, we will work on it together.
Jesus tells us that the meek will inherit the earth. What does it mean to "inherit the earth"? To inherit something means that you get to have something that belonged to someone else who is no longer living. So could this mean that the meek will get to have a future earth when this one passes away? I'm not completely sure what this means. Will I inherit the earth now if I am meek or will it be in the future? In 2 Peter 3:13 it is written, "But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness". I think part of the answer to my question is that if I am meek (remember that the most important act of meekness is toward God), I will inherit a new heaven and a new earth. Oh, what a reward!
I used to sing a song as a teenager at my church. Some of the lyrics are as follows: Make me a servant humble and meek, Lord let me lift up those who are week, And my the prayer of my heart always be, Make me a servant, Make me a servant, Make me a servant, I pray.
I have to be honest with you here. This is hard core stuff, so just give me a little bit more of your time. When I am at my happiest, when I am most fulfilled, when I have the greatest joy, is when I am serving another person for the glory of God. If being a humble and meek servant, as the song lyrics say is the prayer of your heart, then you will find that "sweet spot" in this life!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Marriage Can Be Hard Work
Marriage is hard work.
I can think of 4 of my friends who have difficult marriages. One goes to counseling, one is on the verge of not trying too hard anymore and one has given up on trying. It's painful to listen to their stories and know of their heart aches.
Sometimes my marriage is difficult. When you take two people who are polar opposite and mix them with children and life stress you get difficult situations. I think we work very hard at working them out. Sometimes it feels very exhausting. But the benefits of sticking it out far out weighs throwing in the towel.
Something was laid on my heart today. Something that I really don't think of too often. What about committing to loving my husband? Why not make a vow renewal in my heart between God and myself? So I did. I committed to loving my husband. Yes, I've already done that when we got married, but let's be honest, when your young and in love you get married with a "what I want from being married" attitude. I want to change that and really work on respecting and loving my husband. I'm not admitting that I don't respect him or love him, I just want to focus on respecting and loving him and not focus on me all the time in regards to my marriage.
Yes, I have needs in the relationship and I don't plan on ignoring them. The thing is, the less I focus on me the less I worry about me.
When each of my boys were born into the world, my hearts desire was to take care of them and meet their needs. I loved them no matter what. I loved them even if they took all I had to give and then cried for more. Why is this the way it is as a mom and not as a wife? I know the relationship is different between mom and child and wife and husband and maybe that difference makes all the difference. But I have to wonder, if I took the same attitude of unconditional love that I have toward my kids and applied it to my husband would it make my marriage better? I think so. So today I'm recommitting, but this time with a new view on my marriage. Yes, there are things that I want for myself in our marriage, but I also want to give my husband what he needs from our marriage. I want so much for us and plan on sticking out the difficult times. My mother always said that love is a commitment. I agree with my Mom. I will add to her axiom, love is a decision to be acted upon!
I can think of 4 of my friends who have difficult marriages. One goes to counseling, one is on the verge of not trying too hard anymore and one has given up on trying. It's painful to listen to their stories and know of their heart aches.
Sometimes my marriage is difficult. When you take two people who are polar opposite and mix them with children and life stress you get difficult situations. I think we work very hard at working them out. Sometimes it feels very exhausting. But the benefits of sticking it out far out weighs throwing in the towel.
Something was laid on my heart today. Something that I really don't think of too often. What about committing to loving my husband? Why not make a vow renewal in my heart between God and myself? So I did. I committed to loving my husband. Yes, I've already done that when we got married, but let's be honest, when your young and in love you get married with a "what I want from being married" attitude. I want to change that and really work on respecting and loving my husband. I'm not admitting that I don't respect him or love him, I just want to focus on respecting and loving him and not focus on me all the time in regards to my marriage.
Yes, I have needs in the relationship and I don't plan on ignoring them. The thing is, the less I focus on me the less I worry about me.
When each of my boys were born into the world, my hearts desire was to take care of them and meet their needs. I loved them no matter what. I loved them even if they took all I had to give and then cried for more. Why is this the way it is as a mom and not as a wife? I know the relationship is different between mom and child and wife and husband and maybe that difference makes all the difference. But I have to wonder, if I took the same attitude of unconditional love that I have toward my kids and applied it to my husband would it make my marriage better? I think so. So today I'm recommitting, but this time with a new view on my marriage. Yes, there are things that I want for myself in our marriage, but I also want to give my husband what he needs from our marriage. I want so much for us and plan on sticking out the difficult times. My mother always said that love is a commitment. I agree with my Mom. I will add to her axiom, love is a decision to be acted upon!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Mourning, It's A Good Thing!
Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
This has been a horse sized pill of a verse for me all of my life. How on earth could mourning be a blessing?
I think the first time I truly mourned was my freshman year in high school. Two girls who were in my sister's class (one year ahead of me in school), had been killed in a car accident. Another person who died from the crash was one of my friends sister. I mourned mostly for
the people who they left behind, who loved them and were torn apart by their death. This was an incredibly painful time. I didn't think any of us mourners were blessed.
I have never really understood this verse in the Bible and have only heard it explained one way. The way that I have heard it to be interpreted was that we are blessed when we mourn over our sin; when we have a repentant heart. I would agree with this.
I have been letting this verse roll around in my head for about a week now. How could it be that I would be blessed by mourning? Well, I know that I mourn over something that I have lost. A few things I have mourned over: I have mourned over family members that have died, I have mourned due to a young broken heart, I have mourned over foolish thinking that lead to sinful actions, I have mourned for other people's loss. How have these brought blessing to me?
What I could think of is that when we mourn we hurt, cry, and grieve. There is a letting go that happens when we mourn. We try and purge out our sorrow along with being brave enough to touch it and see just how deep the hurt is. When I mourn I realize how frail and needy I am. I realize my deepest needs; to be loved, cared about and to have people I love in my life. When I mourn I may be realizing my mistakes and wishing that I had done things differently, wishing that I had done them better. Mourning is very humbling. Mourning has shown me that the very fact that I have a deep, deep need in MY life, that everyone around me shares the desire to have their deep, deep needs met too. Mourning makes me really, really human and realize that everyone around me is too.
When I slowly come out of the depths of mourning and back into the land of the living, I have a sense of clarity of where I'm at in life and what I need. When I mourn I cry out to God and he proves himself faithful over and over again. He is my comforter. My relationship with him is deeper because I have been humbled and am aware that I have need and that he is the one to meet my needs. This relationship with the almighty God is my blessing. The mourning is a bridge that takes me from my everyday good life to the very heart and hand of God.
After a time of mourning, I seem to grow more compassionate. My heart sees the hurts and needs of others in a new light and I have a ready had to reach out because I have been there. I am more honest about life, how it can kick you in the stomach, and how God can take your hand and lift you up and heal you. I want to share with other people how great my God is. I want to be able to share how I am fragile, to be transparent so that others can be comfortable to share their mourning stories with me. My hearts desire is to encourage others and show them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, mourning isn't fun, it's one of the worst feelings and experiences of life. But just as a seed has to die underground before it can sprout and grow to bear fruit, it seems that we must mourn to understand where our true blessings lie.
This has been a horse sized pill of a verse for me all of my life. How on earth could mourning be a blessing?
I think the first time I truly mourned was my freshman year in high school. Two girls who were in my sister's class (one year ahead of me in school), had been killed in a car accident. Another person who died from the crash was one of my friends sister. I mourned mostly for
the people who they left behind, who loved them and were torn apart by their death. This was an incredibly painful time. I didn't think any of us mourners were blessed.
I have never really understood this verse in the Bible and have only heard it explained one way. The way that I have heard it to be interpreted was that we are blessed when we mourn over our sin; when we have a repentant heart. I would agree with this.
I have been letting this verse roll around in my head for about a week now. How could it be that I would be blessed by mourning? Well, I know that I mourn over something that I have lost. A few things I have mourned over: I have mourned over family members that have died, I have mourned due to a young broken heart, I have mourned over foolish thinking that lead to sinful actions, I have mourned for other people's loss. How have these brought blessing to me?
What I could think of is that when we mourn we hurt, cry, and grieve. There is a letting go that happens when we mourn. We try and purge out our sorrow along with being brave enough to touch it and see just how deep the hurt is. When I mourn I realize how frail and needy I am. I realize my deepest needs; to be loved, cared about and to have people I love in my life. When I mourn I may be realizing my mistakes and wishing that I had done things differently, wishing that I had done them better. Mourning is very humbling. Mourning has shown me that the very fact that I have a deep, deep need in MY life, that everyone around me shares the desire to have their deep, deep needs met too. Mourning makes me really, really human and realize that everyone around me is too.
When I slowly come out of the depths of mourning and back into the land of the living, I have a sense of clarity of where I'm at in life and what I need. When I mourn I cry out to God and he proves himself faithful over and over again. He is my comforter. My relationship with him is deeper because I have been humbled and am aware that I have need and that he is the one to meet my needs. This relationship with the almighty God is my blessing. The mourning is a bridge that takes me from my everyday good life to the very heart and hand of God.
After a time of mourning, I seem to grow more compassionate. My heart sees the hurts and needs of others in a new light and I have a ready had to reach out because I have been there. I am more honest about life, how it can kick you in the stomach, and how God can take your hand and lift you up and heal you. I want to share with other people how great my God is. I want to be able to share how I am fragile, to be transparent so that others can be comfortable to share their mourning stories with me. My hearts desire is to encourage others and show them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, mourning isn't fun, it's one of the worst feelings and experiences of life. But just as a seed has to die underground before it can sprout and grow to bear fruit, it seems that we must mourn to understand where our true blessings lie.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Nobody wants to be poor......but it can be a good thing.
Well, here is the first foot out the door on my journey. I will start with Matthew 5 and the beatitudes. I just had a thought pop into my head about attitude. Years ago I was in the office of our Women's Ministry Director at the church I attended at the time. She had a poster on her wall that talked about how important your own attitude was. It makes me think of the beatitudes, and how like an attitude, it can change your life for the better. You are the one who controls if you live by the beatitudes or not. The cool thing is that with each beatitude there is a blessing.
I think most people would chose a blessing over a curse any day, I know I would. I want a wonderful blessed life. The thing is that God's idea of blessing and what I think in worldly terms of being blessed are not walking hand in hand. God's idea is on the flip side of popular thought. I think we all know it is much easier to go with the flow than to travel up stream. But the thing is that if you are willing to travel up stream, going the way of God, that is were you find the true riches and blessings.
So here is the first beatitude: Matthew 5:3, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Hmmmmm........this doesn't naturally equate in modern day. I have been thinking about this one for a few days. I looked it up in a concordance and have thought it through too. This is how my thinking goes when I want to dig deeper to understand something....what is the opposite? What is the opposite of a poor spirit? A rich spirit. I think of having a rich spirit as having full confidence in yourself; you are all you need. I think as Americans we are taught that to be a self made man (or woman) is a badge of honor. To live up to your potential and be all that you can be are how we are bread around this great land. The problem I have with this way of thinking is that it has a foundation and center around self.
I want to take that thought above and now look at a poor spirit. A person with a poor spirit doesn't think he is worth nothing, but he knows he is nothing without God. The person with a poor spirit knows that there is a God, one true God, and that without him nothing would exist. The person with a poor spirit knows his relationship with God is found wanting and that his is separated from God because he has sinned and will sin again and can't live up to God's holy standard for him. He knows that there is nothing that he can do to fix his sin and make it go away on his own. A person who is poor of spirit must humble himself and seek what God will do to fix this situation of sin and separation. God will show this person that the answer that He has given to the problem of sin and separation from Himself is faith that Jesus Christ, that he took the punishment of every person's sin upon Him when he died on the cross. Faith that this is true is the bridge that fills the gap between what Christ has done to fulfill what God demands as payment for sin. A person with a poor spirit who realises that this is truth has thus entered into the Kingdom of heaven. To be in the Kingdom of heaven is to live from now through eternity as God as your King, the ruler of your life. Jesus thus becomes the Lord of your life, and you in your grateful state of being saved from separation from God, walk humbly following they way of Christ Jesus. This my friend is the greatest blessing that I could ever imagine!
I think most people would chose a blessing over a curse any day, I know I would. I want a wonderful blessed life. The thing is that God's idea of blessing and what I think in worldly terms of being blessed are not walking hand in hand. God's idea is on the flip side of popular thought. I think we all know it is much easier to go with the flow than to travel up stream. But the thing is that if you are willing to travel up stream, going the way of God, that is were you find the true riches and blessings.
So here is the first beatitude: Matthew 5:3, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Hmmmmm........this doesn't naturally equate in modern day. I have been thinking about this one for a few days. I looked it up in a concordance and have thought it through too. This is how my thinking goes when I want to dig deeper to understand something....what is the opposite? What is the opposite of a poor spirit? A rich spirit. I think of having a rich spirit as having full confidence in yourself; you are all you need. I think as Americans we are taught that to be a self made man (or woman) is a badge of honor. To live up to your potential and be all that you can be are how we are bread around this great land. The problem I have with this way of thinking is that it has a foundation and center around self.
I want to take that thought above and now look at a poor spirit. A person with a poor spirit doesn't think he is worth nothing, but he knows he is nothing without God. The person with a poor spirit knows that there is a God, one true God, and that without him nothing would exist. The person with a poor spirit knows his relationship with God is found wanting and that his is separated from God because he has sinned and will sin again and can't live up to God's holy standard for him. He knows that there is nothing that he can do to fix his sin and make it go away on his own. A person who is poor of spirit must humble himself and seek what God will do to fix this situation of sin and separation. God will show this person that the answer that He has given to the problem of sin and separation from Himself is faith that Jesus Christ, that he took the punishment of every person's sin upon Him when he died on the cross. Faith that this is true is the bridge that fills the gap between what Christ has done to fulfill what God demands as payment for sin. A person with a poor spirit who realises that this is truth has thus entered into the Kingdom of heaven. To be in the Kingdom of heaven is to live from now through eternity as God as your King, the ruler of your life. Jesus thus becomes the Lord of your life, and you in your grateful state of being saved from separation from God, walk humbly following they way of Christ Jesus. This my friend is the greatest blessing that I could ever imagine!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Heavy On My Heart
After talking with a close friend over the weekend, I have realized that I have experienced many different things over the past few months. Because of the way God made me, I internalized things and think deeply about them. I will move slowly on situations and take my time to figure out how I should react and try and figure out if my feelings about the situations are correct. Because of the mired of things that have been going on and my deep feelings, I have wanted to know how, in the light of my faith in Jesus Christ, I should be reacting to things around me.
I have it on my heart to journey through the New Testament in search of how Jesus lived his life, interacted with the people he encountered and what he taught in light of how we should live. Now don't get me wrong, I already know much of this. I have been a Christian for 33 years now. Yep, it was Christmas time when I was 6 years old that I decided to ask Jesus into my life. So this journey isn't because I have no knowledge on the matter, I just hunger and thirst for more.
I plan on posting about this journey. I want to post what I find and how the Lord has spoken to me. This is a personal journey, but I also want it to be one that I can share what I learn and hopefully inspire others to walk the way Jesus walked too.
I love my Lord with all my heart. When I am in a quiet place I have great plans of living for him. Yet, when I am out there, in the world, I find it difficult to always live the way my heart wants to. Also, I am often confused by the situations that go on around me that I have to deal with. I want to have a firmer base of knowledge, and the confidence to execute Christ like living!
Check back, I will be posting!
I have it on my heart to journey through the New Testament in search of how Jesus lived his life, interacted with the people he encountered and what he taught in light of how we should live. Now don't get me wrong, I already know much of this. I have been a Christian for 33 years now. Yep, it was Christmas time when I was 6 years old that I decided to ask Jesus into my life. So this journey isn't because I have no knowledge on the matter, I just hunger and thirst for more.
I plan on posting about this journey. I want to post what I find and how the Lord has spoken to me. This is a personal journey, but I also want it to be one that I can share what I learn and hopefully inspire others to walk the way Jesus walked too.
I love my Lord with all my heart. When I am in a quiet place I have great plans of living for him. Yet, when I am out there, in the world, I find it difficult to always live the way my heart wants to. Also, I am often confused by the situations that go on around me that I have to deal with. I want to have a firmer base of knowledge, and the confidence to execute Christ like living!
Check back, I will be posting!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)