Marriage Can Be Hard Work

Marriage is hard work.

I can think of 4 of my friends who have difficult marriages. One goes to counseling, one is on the verge of not trying too hard anymore and one has given up on trying. It's painful to listen to their stories and know of their heart aches.

Sometimes my marriage is difficult. When you take two people who are polar opposite and mix them with children and life stress you get difficult situations. I think we work very hard at working them out. Sometimes it feels very exhausting. But the benefits of sticking it out far out weighs throwing in the towel.

Something was laid on my heart today. Something that I really don't think of too often. What about committing to loving my husband? Why not make a vow renewal in my heart between God and myself? So I did. I committed to loving my husband. Yes, I've already done that when we got married, but let's be honest, when your young and in love you get married with a "what I want from being married" attitude. I want to change that and really work on respecting and loving my husband. I'm not admitting that I don't respect him or love him, I just want to focus on respecting and loving him and not focus on me all the time in regards to my marriage.

Yes, I have needs in the relationship and I don't plan on ignoring them. The thing is, the less I focus on me the less I worry about me.

When each of my boys were born into the world, my hearts desire was to take care of them and meet their needs. I loved them no matter what. I loved them even if they took all I had to give and then cried for more. Why is this the way it is as a mom and not as a wife? I know the relationship is different between mom and child and wife and husband and maybe that difference makes all the difference. But I have to wonder, if I took the same attitude of unconditional love that I have toward my kids and applied it to my husband would it make my marriage better? I think so. So today I'm recommitting, but this time with a new view on my marriage. Yes, there are things that I want for myself in our marriage, but I also want to give my husband what he needs from our marriage. I want so much for us and plan on sticking out the difficult times. My mother always said that love is a commitment. I agree with my Mom. I will add to her axiom, love is a decision to be acted upon!