A wonderful baking day!

What a wonderful day. I stayed home most all

of the day and did something I love to do: bake.

In and out of the oven came Christmas tree

shaped sugar cookies, cinnamon rolls and

Norwegian Christmas Bread. Yesturday my

kitchen saw Chocolate Chip Cheesecake bars

and Almond Paste Cake. Tomorrow I plan

to finish up with Chocolate Biscotti!

One of my favorite things about this time of the

year is making all of these yummy treats. Also,

I love to share them too. Jake and I took a

little drive out to the West side of Stockton to

deliver cinnamon rolls to a new friend. I met

Michelle in the homeschool group and was

instantly drawn to her when she said she has

five boys. With two boys already in college,

I knew she had some experience under her

belt. A few months back we met for dinner

and it was so nice to have someone to just

share life with. I told her today that she has

been an oasis in this desert time of my life.

The boys are so excited about Christmas.

They keep asking what is on the menu.

Drew did a happy dance in the middle

of the living room tonight. Devin is planning

on staying up late tomorrow on Christmas

Eve, so that he will be able to easily fall asleep.

And my Jake, he confessed tonight that he

is really just excited about the gifts and not

really about Christmas being about Jesus.

I assured him that it was okay, and that

for a six year old it is normal to be excited

just about the gifts. I told him that when

people are older they think more about it

being about Jesus.

If I could, I would get a gift for every one of you.

Your gift would be something that you have been

longing for. The price would not matter, just that

your gift would delight you and bring you joy!

I love giving gifts at Christmas, the surprise, the

wrapping, ribbon and bows. I hope that each of

you will have a special gift this Christmas!

Enjoy the day and don't worry about any of the

calories!

Love,

Deanne

Facebook, Gingerbread House, Christmas Gifts

Okay, I was a short term Facebook junky. It was lovely at first, but then it sucked me in, and due to my oversensitivity to the outside world, it was having a not so good effect. I think I'm not normal and have a intense internal response to news of any kind. My husband caught wind of some of the status post and didn't like what he saw. He wanted me to end my Facebook substance abuse and so I complied. Of course I miss it and want to know what everyone is doing, but it is much better for me (no judgement on anyone else) to keep to my own business and not compare my simple life to anyone else. I'm more content living that way.

Gingerbread, it is such a delight of Christmas time for me!! When I was somewhere around 18 or 19 I made my first gingerbread house. It has been a long time since I have made one, due to the fact that there has been many years where little hands would have gotten involved and I would have been frustrated! So this year I let the boys decorate gingerbread cookies days before and then when I went to make the gingerbread house they we're not allowed to help. This house was made as a gift for Drew's teacher. For the first time I made windows out of hard candy and then set the house one a base with a hole in the bottom and inserted a battery operated candle. So with the candle inside it looked like there was a warm fire in the gingerbread house! His teacher loved it and I was thrilled!

Jake was so excited about Christmas gifts this year. He wanted me to wrap gifts as soon as the Christmas tree went up. In years past I would wait close to Christmas to wrap the gifts, so they wouldn't be tempted to sneak a peak. As they got older I would wrap the gifts and then assign fake names to the gifts, so that they wouldn't know which ones were theirs. But this year I trust them and they have gifts under the tree with their names on them.

Today, Devin told me that I shouldn't have put gifts under the tree so early on. What? He said it was to hard to wait so long. This cause me to think, as many things that they say causes me to think. God often gives me glimpses when my children say things.

When we put gifts under the Christmas tree and make our children wait to open their gifts until Christmas morning it is so hard for them to wait. Did you know that you can store up gifts in heaven? Yep, that is right! The Lord has rewards in heaven for his children, waiting there for them when they get there!! Wha - Hoo! These are eternal treasures, not just delights that will fade months, even days after Christmas. Jesus tells us to store up treasures in heaven. Good works store up treasures in heaven. I wonder if sacrifice and obedience stores up treasure in heaven too. Just having Christ now is a treasure enough, but there is more, much more!!! Doing good works, having to sacrifice now and obedience has it's rewards now here on earth, I can't imagine what the rewards will be like in heaven! Our biggest gift will be to continually be in the presence of the Lord. I hope my rewards will include endless resource to do the things that I wasn't able to do here on earth (like, redecorate my house in different motifs)! I also hope that I get to ride a zip line across some beautiful raven (with no fear, but all the rush)!

I am so excited for Christmas! As a parent I have chosen gifts for my children that I know they will love. I can't wait to see the delight in their eyes and feel the joy they feel. If I know how to give good gifts to my children, I know that God will do an infinitely better job than me!

To all who read this blog:

Merry Christmas!!!!

Christmas Cookie Decorating

Christmas Cookie Decorating

Last night was the night of Christmas Cookie decorating! Yeah, what fun and what a mess! What the pictures don't show is the aftermath of cookie decorating. We were up to 10:00pm and the 2 out of 3 boys had melt downs and my voice was not all nice and sweet. I'm not sharing this because I'm proud of it, but I'm telling you because if you just saw the pictures you would think everything was wonderful. Pictures are great, but don't tell the whole story, just the part of the story that we want to share!

New Phase, Lost Days.

I have entered into a new phase of life today. It is official, I am now the mother of a teenage son! His birthday was not only a celebration for him, but sort of a right of passage for myself also.

Just recently, I held this heavy not so little baby in my arms, and looked at him with amazement. And then he began to walk and talk. This little boy was a handful for me. He tested my strong will with his own. He started school, learned how to ride a bike, and played with the neighborhood boys. And then all of the sudden life changed for our family, and our lives including his was turned upside down. We moved away from "home" and moved again. Within a day I decided to take a leap of faith, trust God's prompting, and homeschooling him. We had not even a year of working together at home building our relationship and then Jr. High Youth group happened. A girl was interested in him and he in she (I wasn't ready for that) and now we are here.

I heard that they grow up fast and now I believe it. This day I look ahead at 12 years of living with a teenage boy in my house (if God wills). That's right, I have already done the math and it will be 12 years straight that we will have a teenager living among us.

I'm sure that these years will be full of many things, joy, sorrow, laughter, anger, tears, and many other things! I can't even imagine how God will grow me and change me through out these years. I'm so much stronger than I was the day I gave birth to my first son. I think I understand life a lot better, yet there is so much I do not know.

I look forward to watching my boys grow into men. I look forward to the people they will bring into my life and the opportunities to learn from them and hopefully love them with the love of Christ!

Jeff and I long to get to the place in life where we will be settled. I know that we have had so many changes and moves and it doesn't seem normal to most. We have tried to follow God's leading, with prayer and seeking. We do not believe that Lodi, Ca is home for us. It is extremely difficult to live in limbo and at times it has really depressed me. There must be something here that God wants me to learn and grow from. One thing that I am realizing is that it is essential to the health of a Christian to have good loving fellowship with other believers. There must be prayer together, building up and encouragement, reading the word together and other spiritual disciplines. We are not meant to walk through this world alone. I haven't experience this type of fellowship here and I have suffered the loss of it.

I was going to join a Bible study at church but the times they were offered didn't work with homeschooling Devin and there wasn't anything for my other two during the evening one. The church we have committed to doesn't fit us, but we need to stay for Devin's need for stability at this time of life. I have also not wanted to get too involved, because I'm tiered of saying goodbye to people I love. For now I am experiencing the loss of fellowship, and it is painful.

Why else am I here? I am learning that things really don't matter but there is something that really matters to me. What really is important to me is to have a home that is full of light, and has beauty. Home is extremely important to me. I am longing for a place to stay and make home. Of course home is wherever my "boys" are but I need a home that I can nest in.

Lastly, for now, is...........I need my husband. We have had a year that has been very different than any other in our marriage. His new job has had him travel a lot and that means time away from each other that leaves a disconnect. The disconnect leaves a hole in me. He knows me better than anyone and I need his friendship.

So in a nut shell, Faith, Family and Friends! I need my faith and I need to share it in fellowship with family and friends. This is what I am longing for and praying for. I'm going to need all of these to support the next twelve years, as I live my life with all the issues of teenage life. Will you help me with your prayes and ask God to give me a stable home base, a body of believers to fellowship with and more time to be with my husband!

The Emmys, The Grammys, and The Suzies!

Awards Ceremonies, I find these events very interesting. The ones on T.V. are so strange to me. The people who make entertainment for the masses, award themselves on their work. They also promote their own fame and acceptability by awarding their own kind. Then there are the pointless award ceremonies that truly puzzle me, like the one I attended last Spring for school volunteers. Yep, the school district put on a nice BBQ lunch for us volunteers, and then as we sat out in the blazing heat as they proceeded to call out our names so that we could go up to the front of the crowd to receive a certificate of appreciation. I don't know about anyone else in the crowd, but really, I didn't need a piece of paper for all my volunteer work. I volunteered because I wanted to be involved in my child's class. I just really don't get the ceremonies.

I do have to say that if we are going to have these crazy ceremonies when need to make one up to honor women who are caring for others, and could be called the Suzies! I think that these should be local gatherings, among friends. We should give accolades to our own friends and family. We should all dress up, have it at a restaurant (so that no one will have to cook or clean up), and make it a dessert only so there will be no quilt in eating it!
Here are some of the awards that should be given:

Best Woman who travels well with children

Best Supporting Wife

Mother of Multiples

Best Creative Mom

Best Entrepreneur Mom

Best Woman Caring for an Elderly Parent

Best Mother Caring For a Special Needs Child

Best Woman Who Shows Hospitality in a Messy Home

Best Woman Who Cares for the Invisible People

Best Woman Who Is A Single Mom

And I'm sure there are many, many more awards that could be given. Every one should be given an award. These ceremonies should go on annually and different awards given out each time to avoid someone always getting the same award. The actual awards should be something that could be sat on a shelf so that the recipient could see it as a daily reminder that she has been acknowledged! We need to build each other up and praise other women for how they serve and sacrifice!

I want one of these awards!! I want the one for traveling well with children!! We just got back from a road trip. I realized as we were flying down highway 99 that over the past two and a half years we have traveled home by train, plane and automobile! We started out the trip with Devin in sever pain, he has strep throat. He didn't want to be traveling today, but I gave him more pain meds and made him take a throat lozenge. He fell asleep part of the trip. He had his feet up on the dash board and he was leaning back in his chair. It reminded me of when he was a baby in his car seat (same position). Oh, how did the time fly so fast! That was the nice part. Then there was the, "I've gotta go pee," and the, "When is lunch?".
We stopped two times before we were even in Fresno! It's nice to not be in a hurry. Of course Mr. Pig-Pin made a disaster out of the back seat. I had to get the shop vac out and clean up back there. It was a great time away, but it is always great to get home.

Mommy Musings

Can you change the name of your child when he is six years old? I have told Jeff that he is the embodiment of his own mother. This child defines persistent! My mother-in-law would not take no for an answer and would ask you something until she heard you say yes. This is just like my Jake.

And then there is my side of the family. My roots are very humble. My grandfather on my Mom's side could have been part of the story in the novel, The Grapes of Wrath. I want to preface what I'm about to say with a clarification that my side of the family are not pig-slop-slobs, we are just more relaxed about life and know that in good time we will get to what needs doing.

This is where Jake's new name comes in. I think that I should have named him Jethro! That child is a slob, in a "hillbilly" kind of way! Now mind you I'm very relaxed in my style. I let the kids eat in the living room. Partly because the kitchen table is the central working place of our tiny abode, and is often full of projects. If there is a bowl left in the living room, it is Jake's. I looked for something in the car tonight and Jake had left two pairs of shoes and a shirt in there. He cannot get it through his head that the hamper is for dirty clothes. And yes, I repeat this over and over, "If it's clean hang it up, if it's dirty put it in the hamper". I had to have him get his Popsicle stick and water bottle off the front drive tonight. He uses his shirt as a napkin.

It is strange what you get when you mix Dutch blood with Okie blood, it is a mix of formal and tradition with fly by the seat of your pants! I think Jake has more Okie blood running through his veins.

I don't know if being the baby of the family is the reason for his pig like living. Maybe I'm just so sick and tiered of repeating myself to no avail!

I have given up sorting the toys, no one cares if star wars guys are with star wars guy, other than me. Actually when the toys are all mixed up, they get really excited when they discover a new toy at the bottom of the box.

I took this child to go garage sale shopping on Sat. We had a great time. We got doughnuts and milk, we found treasures and just enjoyed time together. He also went grocery shopping with me the same day, and spent the rest of his money on two boxes of fruit roll ups. Yeah, yeah, I know I spoil this little boy.

When he has wanted something in the last few days he tells me that I got stuff for his brothers and not him. Oh, boy, was I quick to remind him of the truth.

So the other day, as we were driving, my little thinker in the back seat was asking me about the girl he was going to marry. He wanted to know if the girl he would marry should be a Christian. I told him that she needed to love Jesus first then him. We have been talking a lot lately about dating and marriage in our house. Devin, my oldest, is nearing 13 years old and I want to have a game plan about "dating".

When talking with another mom, who has two teenage girls, she shared with me her values and views on courting. Oh, how wonderful courting sounds! Courting is about getting to know a gal, when you are near or already at the point in life when you are actually ready to get married. Courting involves the parents, the gal and the guy. It is based on the relationship of the two individuals, who are looking for the right mate in life. I'm not totally against dating, but I spent a lot of time being love lorned when it really didn't amount to much. I have fun memories and have suffered from a broken heart. I really don't want the boys to suffer from a broken heart nor break a heart.

A big goal of courting is purity! I want this for all three of my boys. They are growing up in an immoral sex saturated world and I want them to field the bombs that are set before them.

Devin has some girls at youth group who want to have him over for lunch. Oh boy, I'm going to have to make up some rules. He said that some girl liked him and he told the girls he was talking to about this. He said that he told them he couldn't take the girl out because he had no money and his Mom wouldn't let him. A high school girl who helps in Jr. High and I have befriended said that maybe if she talked to me he could go out with her. I laughed my head off!!!! A 17 year old girl talking me into letting my son "go out" with a girl. For crying out loud he is only 12, why on earth would I want to get that started? Crazy, crazy, crazy!

Drew has always loved girls. I have said that he will need to go to trade school so he can get done and get a job and get married. But he has toned down. He is really into reading right and I love it!! We were waiting for Devin to get out of youth group tonight, and I was just really enjoying his company. He brought up how where we were sitting seemed like a ship, so we started talking and I told him that when he was older we should take a cruse together. I just really love being with Drew, he is very laid back and we can be together and not even talk and be totally at ease!

Argh, I was always boy crazy! I wish my boys were not so much like their mother when it comes to the opposite sex. Why can't they be like their father and just be afraid of girls?

Normal Life for Me

We have two track lights in our kitchen/dinning area. One of the lights is over the table and the other is over the kitchen area. They are nice modern track lights in the midst of our very old fashion kitchen. I have had to replace the bulbs, five per track, and they are expensive. Since the first time I replaced one of the bulbs, they are weird two pronged things, the tracks will intermittently go off on their own. This is frustrating, to say the least. Last night I decided to make macaroni salad, and have it sit in the fridge, to have it ready for dinner tonight. Well, both tracks decided to go out, and I just had to quit and leave the kitchen. I turned out the light switches so that both tracks could cool down. This is only one of the many fun things about this house.(Hear the sarcasim?)

It is not unusual to have a total house black out. If the air conditioning is going and I'm running either the dryer or the washer and then turn either the stove or the dishwasher on it's a sure bet the power will go out. It used to freak the boys out, but now they just shout to me, "Powers out!". I then walk through the back yard to the landlords house and flip the switch and go on with life.

Today, was like so many others, just one more frustration and obstacle to overcome. I never have had enough kitchen cupboard space here. Often I just get frustrated and clean out a few things and give them to Goodwill just to make room for the things I have to have. Today was one of these types of days. The main storage downstairs, other than a bedroom closet, a broom closet in the laundry, and the few kitchen cupboards, is the closet under the stairs that we can access in the laundry room (the room you have to go through to get to the bathroom). I have already taken stuff out of a kitchen cupboard to transfer to this closet and go to the closet to find the door closed and locked! This door stays open for an easy access to the storage and now it is shut and locked. Of course no one has the key and the screws on the knob are located on the inside of the door. I try with no avail to break in and finally realize that I'm in obsessive problem solving mode and I just need to give up!

The solution to many successive problems is to just get out the house. The boys have been couped up for a couple of days now and we just had to go somewhere that they could run and move around and have an open sky to be under. We packed up and got in the car and headed to the Sacramento Zoo. It was a really nice zoo. I'm not a real zoo/animal person, but I really enjoyed getting out with my boys and doing something different and fun. Animals are really amazing once you slow down long enough to look and observe them. I sure hope we have animals in heaven, tame ones that we can play with!

The animals were not the most interesting part of the Zoo. It was really interesting to be a Mom without a stroller, I have totally pasted that time of my life. Relief and sadness come from being past the baby stage. It's funny to be on this side of baby and toddler hood and have those nostalgia looks and feelings toward people who are there right now. It's also intersting to see families together and see how in some family there are some real domanite genes. Then there are the people who are there as couples, maybe not married maybe so, but in that "love" stage of life. The human race is so interesting to me, it's like we are all travelors, some have just gotten on the trian of life, others are seasoned rideres and others will be getting off on the next stop. We all have an important part....in someones life. We all have the ability to affect one another, either positively or negitavely. We get to choose so much and so much is chosen for us.

And then there was the bearded lady. Yeah, I know you had to read that sentance over again. We were walking toward a new area, and there was a couple who sat on a bench, the man with his hand on the woman's leg. I just kept staring at her. Could it be? Now I'm looking with my eyes crossed over to one side, so that I couldn't be seen staring. It really did look like she had a growing beard. I hope I was just seeing a shadow.

Okay, now on a different note. My Jake, he is so special to me. At dinner, after I'm done eating and his food still on his plate, he lookes at me and says, "This is my prayer," as he looks down on his food. I don't get it and say something like, "What?" He tells me he is like an animal and this is his prayer. OH, now I get it. So I tell him that it would be his prey. He cracks me up so often. When I was pregnant with him, God told me that he was blessing me by having him. I think of that so many times that I'm cracking up over him.

So here I sit writing in the simi darkness of Jake and Drew's room. We have this new night time ritual of me coming up stairs with my laptop and playing them music from a radio station on iTunes radio. Before all was settled, I needed to get Devin a blanket, and Jake had already been given the one Devin wanted. I went and got another blanket to trade out with Jake, the one he had was larger and it only made since for Devin to have the larger one. Jake had wrapped himself up in this blanket and yelled "No, I want this one". Okay, those were fighting words for me and I hollard back that he had to give it up and I would trade him the other one. He persisted that he needed to have that blanket. Devin said he would take the other one and once agian Jake has won by his strength of will. I sat down on his floor and started iTunes and then got to writing this blog intry. Wouldn't you know that the little stinker is lying there peacefully asleep with no blanket on him what so ever! It made me think, how as people we hold onto somethings so tight and just insist that we have to have it for ourselves, get it and then don't even need it. I'm learning a lot right now in my life about need. Living in such a small space I am finding that the less I have the easier my life is. Letting go of stuff and having less to manage (and someday move agian) is such a lighter load. Hmmmm, little Jake peacefully asleep not clutching onto a thing, me living peacefully with less.

Of course, I want more, that is human nature. The beauty of right now is that I can clearly see that happiness isn't in the more of life. Happiness is in having dinner with my husband and children, going someplace new, and just having them healthy and around. I want my life to be about more, just not more things, but the real more of life. More time with family and friends, more laughter over the silliness of living, more embraces and kisses, more of Jesus, more of knowing Him and following Him and resting in Him!

Jake is Home!

We have found Jake a new home!

We joke that he is a monkey!

First Grade is Hard

Jake started first grade two weeks ago. He was a bit taken with the fact that he now had to go to school for 6 hours. This is a lot longer than kindergarten. Last Wednesday night I went to "Back to School Night" and spoke with his teacher. She told me that he thinks he can't read or write (he does both very well for his age). I figured in comparison to his brothers, he must feel like he can't do much academically. A few nights ago he fell asleep on the couch and I found him just like this. Maybe he is trying to figure out how to make it successfully in this new world of academia!

Target Date

My littles guy, Jake (6), has been trying to get me to take him out for days now. I have been resisting him. Being home with my oldest, who is sick with the flu, has taking a lot of my attention and nurturing and by the time night comes I really don't want to go out to do something. But it then dawnedd on me that because he kept asking for this it must be something he really wants and needs. So last night we hopped in the Trooper and left home base.

As we were driving, I asked Jake what he wanted to do. To my surprise he said, "Let's go to Target and get popcorn and soda and candy." Wow, now that was esay, I thought he would want to go for ice cream or something more fancy than this.
I asked if he wanted to sit and have the popcorn or go look at toys. We decided we would get the snacks and go and look at toys, and that I would pick up a magazine so that I had something to look at while he oogled over all the toys that he could dream of having. We walked up to Target walking hand in hand just talking.

This little guy is starting to really develop the craft of talking, like his mother has. He is loaded with questions and gets quite philosophical and theological when driving in the car. I need to remember to get out of the house and go somewhere with this boy.

We enjoyed our popcorn and soda and looked at toys and I really enjoyed it being about him. I have read the book about people having different love languages and have found that the very thing that I need to feel loved is difficult for me to give; time. My littlest one needed my undivided attention and my time. And you know that this really blessed me too. I so want to be close to my kids and develop a real relationship with them. Relationship takes time, attention and giving and taking. I hope that I can also teach my boys to give what others need in a relationship. Oh sometimes it overwhelms me all that I want to teach my boys. One day at a time, one day at a time.

Feedback

Ok, I already have gotten three responses from the Mother job blog. My own Mum said to run like hell! Mom doesn't swear often......I couldn't handle something like this. I sorta already know that, but I wish I could be a superhero and rescue people from the hurt and pain, and show them love. How I wish I could give everyone Jesus, and have them see how real he is and how he has the power not only to forgive sins but to heal also.

Switching gears a bit here, I have done a lot of thinking lately about faith. I have had a person very dear to my heart, share with me about their own uncertainty about faith issues. I did some research on other faiths. It seemed to me that other faiths are focused on people, wether it about good karma, or reaching higher levels, the focus is on people (created things not the creator). I discovered something (I'm sure that it isn't something that only I have discovered). Christianity doesn't focus on people but on God. The story of the Bible is about God's love, his desire to bring people who have rebeled against Him back to Him. God is glorified not people. Believing in Christ Jesus death and Resurrection as God's way of having your sins dealt with and submitting to him as Lord and having a real living relationship with him, doesn't come by intellect. Of course you want to use your brain to understand what Jesus is all about and to see if he is a liar, lunatic, or Lord. But when it comes down to where the rubber meets the road, it is about faith. Faith is the conduit that jumps you from unbelief to belief. Faith is a personal journey between God's wooing you and your answer to that call. I can share what it all is to me and what the Bible says, but I can't argue anyone into believing all that I am telling them. Even though I want to be a superhero and save the world, I have to remember that the world doesn't need me to be a superhero, they need Jesus, he is the Super Superhero. He is the ultimate superhero. He is the only one who can save us from ourselves, from our selfish destructive living. I can't save a foster kid, or a friend, or anyone for that matter, only God can. I can live, only by the power of God, a life that shows the people in my life, Jesus. May God keep working on me, weeding all the selfishness out of me and make me more and more like Christ. Christ Jesus is the only one who can save a life.

Mother Job

Much to my chagrin, I am on the hunt for a job. The current economic struggles has hit the Postma family and we are in need of more bucks. Darn it!

Jeff, found an ad on craigslist, and thought it would be a good job for me. The job is one of a "child care worker" at a teenage all girls group home. Okay, I had my doubts from the start, but have an altruistic desire to help people and be a good influence, so I applied.

I got a call the very next day, not even 24 hours later, and the owner of the group home didn't even see my resume yet. This should have told me something. I agreed to an interview the next day at 9:30AM. I'm strange and find interviews interesting and sorta fun. Maybe it is because it is the only time it is totally appropriate to talk about yourself!

So as I'm driving to the interview, I begin to think, is this safe? I'm going to a home in North Stockton (I have a very negative view of Stockton all together)could this be an internet scam, you know the kind where they lure you in with a job interview and then kill you? So I begin to pray and ask God to tell me if this is a bad idea. He says nothing, so I proceed ahead.

At the door of the house, I wait, after I knocked and then ringed the doorbell. A lady answers and looks at me with a look of "Yeah, what are you doing here." For a second I think I'm at the wrong house, then tell her I'm here for an interview. She lets me in. I sit at a dinning room table and start to fill out an application. The owner of he group home comes to the door, enters, and then greets me after talking to the lady I met at the door. Everything is casual and business like and I feel safe and just fine. The interview starts with me asking about the group home and the owner tells me all about how it started, funding of this non-profit organization and the like.

Then the conversations gets good. He starts to talk about the nitty-gritty of the down side of the job. Well over the phone he tells me these are good girls and they are high functioning, they just need a Mom. At the interview he tells me that they will curse me out, his language during the interview is peppered with words I would not teach my children to utter. The girls go on outings to the park, movies and the mall, ect. I would have to make sure they aren't drinking or going into the bathroom with their boyfriends and doing whatever it is that you do with you boyfriend in the bathroom (I'm sure taht my imagination isn't even hitting the tip of the iceberg). Red flags are popping up everywhere at this point.

He asks me a good interview question, "Let's say, your partner(a.k.a other female "Mom" child care worker) has been bitching with another girl all day. It's the end of the day and she is in the back of the house with the girl and they start going at it girl style. I'm in the kitchen washing dishes with another girl and I'm hearing the commotion in the back. The other girls in the house are all congregating in the back of the house to see the show that the other woman and the bitchy girl are putting on. The other woman has lost her professionalism and has "lost it" and is cusing out the girl."

Wow! That is the whooper of all interview questions!!! My answer. I would tell all the girls that are gawking at the verbal cat fight to flee the scene. I would tell my partner to go take a brake and then wait for the girl to cool off. Then I would go to the girl and talk to her to see her side of the story, then go to my partner to hear her side of the story. After hearing both out, I would offer to take over the issues with the girl for the rest of the day and keep them separated.

This all sounds like chaos to me. Part of me was pulled to wanting the job, so that I could be a sane loving person, to help these girls. The other part of me said, "You are not thick skinned enough to deal with that kind of stuff".

I'm grieved that peoples lives are so messed up.

When I was a teenager I wanted to be a nurse, so I thought volunteering as a Candy Striper would be a good way to see what it was like to do something in the hospital. I hated that I couldn't go around and pray over the patients and have God use me to make them well. It seemed to be such a huge responsibility, and it freaked me out.

I would love to be someone to go into a group home and turn around the lives of everyone there, for the better. But change is hard and slow, and I can't even begin to understand the lives of people who have lived in chaos and that is all they know.

So I drove away from the interview wondering if I could actually work in a situation like that. Would I survive, would I be able to make a difference, or would it eat me alive? I wish that I was tougher and thicker skinned, but I'm a Pollyanna who likes to think that all is good in the world and could cure any ills with a warm batch of chocolate chip cookies (I know this isn't true)!

I'm curious, for the people who know me well, what do you think, could I handle a job like that?! This will be interesting if you care to answer!

A Great American Idol Concert!!!!

I am not one to have too many out of the ordinary opportunities. For some reason, unknown to me, God has for me a simple life. I would love to travel and experience the world like some are able to do, but instead I am challenged to be content with where I am at. I look forward to heaven, and living in the new earth as the Bible tells us that God will create. I'm hoping to see the whole earth, after all I will have eternity! Thus said, opportunities for out of the ordinary in my life are much loved.

My husband had American Idol tickets to use as incentives for the stores that he works with for his job at Kellogg's. Fortunately, he was not able to give away 5 of the tickets and we were able to go to the American Idol tour in Fresno, CA last night!

For the past three years the boys and I from January to May have religiously followed the show. The first time (2006 season) was thrilling and confusing, not understanding why the judges were so hard on the contestants. The year after that (2007) was less interesting because nothing could beat the first time we watched and the talent wasn't as good, in my opinion. This year was a blast! The night the show had the top 24 performers, the boys and I chose who we thought would win, one guy and one gal. I told them that if their person won they would get a prize, the prize ended up being $10 (a lot of money for the boys)!

For my two contestants I chose, David Archuleta and Brook White; Devin chose: David Cook and Amanda Overmyre (Devin is 12 and into Rock music); Drew chose: David Archuleta and Shyesha Mercado, and little Jake chose: Jason Castro and Alaina Whitaker. All of these people except Jake's gal was at the American Idol Tour last night. We picked good!!!

For the boys, this was their first concert (unless you count Devin going to one when I was pregnant with him)! We drove for two hours from our home in Lodi and arrived at Save Mart Center in Fresno, Ca at about 7pm. We found our seats right before the concert started. And if we had seat belts we would have had to strapped them on because we were in for a wild ride!

Devin was so excited to be in such close proximity to "Famous People". I had to remind him that they were normal people (knowing that fame is cool, but we are all people just the same). He was just so pumped about being so close to "Famous People". The arena was packed, the lights were low and the show began. The lights, the thumping sound, the excitement was taking us into an exhilarating high that would last for about two hours. We screamed, and cheered, with the rock out songs and we sat quiet and listened when the music and singer were more thoughtful and mellow. As each new singer came out the crowd would cheer. The show started with the number 10 finalist and slowly progressed to number 1, the American Idol. As we got closer to the top final five, the crowd would be more and more excited as the new "Idol" would come out. We were excited and having the time of our lives, I can't even imagine what it was like to be the recipient of all the cheering and screaming. When David Cook, the AI winner came out, he directed the crowd to cheer and cheer louder and louder. Then he got out his tiny new video camera to record the crazy crowd. He said he wanted to record this so that when he gets lonely he could relive the experience. Smart guy! Fame only last for a time and then the new guy takes the stage.

As David Cook, rose from the floor of the stage, I had a thought.........would we cheer so exuberantly if that was Jesus up there? David Cook is merely a young man with a great talent to sing and perform (a God given talent non-the-less). So this thought leads to another.........what if it was acceptable to raise hands, sing loud and cheer in church meetings to show our Lord Jesus how we adore him?! Strange how I have no problem yelling at the top of my lungs for the people who sang at this concert, and wave my hands back and forth and dance in front of my seat and yet in other parts of my life I'm scared to make a move. I guess because it is okay at concerts to get a little crazy I feel more free to do so.

What if we made as big deal every time we saw someone we loved? How amazing it would make someone feel to open our arms and yell there name when they came. Imagine the love a father feels when his children yell, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy's home!" when he gets home from work every day. When I see someone I haven't seen in a long time, I open my arms for a hug and smile real big letting them know how special and important to me they are! Wow! To feel so excepted and loved by others would be such a boost! Angels celebrate when people believe on Christ as their own savior, I wonder if they celebrate like we did last night?!

Something else I notice last night was that although each performer was amazingly great they all had a different appeal. Some of the singers were dynamic! Two were very sweet and their style was much calmer than the dynamic rockers. All of the performers could sing great, but some of them commanded the whole stage and energized the crowd, and others pulled you into their songs intimately and spoke words to give meaning to their songs. The diversity of this group of 10 young adults was amazing. There where five men and five women. Two of the performers where from two different countries originally. The group included people not only from different original countries but also from different nationalities. All of the diversity made for one amazing group and an equally amazing show.

This reminds me of how talented my God is in making people and especially how wonderful diversity (that is pure) is such a beautiful thing. This thought bleeds perfectly into what the Bible teaches about the body of Christ, how each of us has a different part, are equally dependent on each other and each are important. As I grow older, each day, month and year I realize how I do not embody enough talent and ability on my own to do it all (that is such a no brain-er)! Okay, here is an example, as much as I love to write and share my point of view I equally need someone to edit what I write because of my terrible disability in spelling. I have never, ever been able to spell well, it is a literary thorn in the flesh of the paper (or screen) that I write on. I would hate to see today, notes and letters (even yearbook signings) of the past, I would die of embarrassment for my lack of spelling skills! God has given many people such a command of the grammatical English language that they can spot a grammar or spelling error like I can spot a photographic opportunity. What I have in the latter I do not posses in the former. So, if you are a reader, and spot an error, e-mail and let me know, so that I do not embarrass myself any further.

What inspired me the most about last night, was that repeatedly I heard these young people speak of dreams, having them, not giving up on them and then living them out, like they were the very moment they spoke of them! I love dreams! Dreaming today and then seeing with your own your eyes your dreams come true in the future is amazing! I live that every day. I dreamed since I was about 15 of being a wife and a mother, I am in the midst of living that dream right now! Praise God! I have more dreams for my life and hope to see them come true like the people who we went to see perform last night! Do you have a dream that you care to share? I would love to hear about it!

After the show, we went to Denny's for dinner at about 10pm. We headed home after that and made it back to Lodi at about 1:30 am today. Although the ride home gave me a feeling of claustrophobia and nausea, as I sat in the back seat trying to help Jake sleep comfortably and trying to keep him from putting his feet in Drew's ears, it was well worth the wonderful experience of going to the American Idol tour!!!

Passive Aggressive Road Rage

Today I took Jake to the dentist to get some work done on a tooth. The lady at the office took Jake to a little room to get an x-ray of the bad tooth. As we left the first room to go to the next, the dental assistant lady told him that he would get to choose the smell of the nitrous he was going to get. Now at this point you must know a little history. The boys have played a video game where they race cars and to get extra speed they use Nitrous. So now that you know this I can go on with the story. So after the dental lady says this, Jake looks up at me with a smile and says, "So if I fart I will go real fast!".............gas+nitrous=speed (isn't little boy math and logic great)!!?!!

Okay, so on the way home I am going down hwy. 99 South to Lodi. There is only two lanes, and on the left lane is a little Honda or Toyota with an mature woman looking to be in her 70's as the driver and a man in the passenger seat looking to be about 80ish and sporting a neck rest curved around his neck. I got behind her and she was only doing about 65, which on this highway that is slow! So I pull to the right lane and instantly I get this person in a white KIA on my tail. I hate it when someone rides my tail! She then pulls into the left lane and starts to tail this time soaked couple and this makes me really, really mad! So I decide to make sure she will be stuck, not able to get past us. My Trooper is now strategically going just fast enough to block my lane against the older couples car so that Miss. Rudeness will not be able to get past us. So for about two miles I do this, driving using both mirrors balancing my vehicle against their position. Finally, I notice that not only am I keeping Miss. Rudeness back but a whole slue of cars behind her and myself. Hmmmm...........this felt like some power to me...........not good power, but none the less I had stopped up the traffic. So knowing that I was doing to much of a power play (and this is a very rare thing I'm doing, I just hate for someone to bully the underdog). I speed up and pull in the left lane ahead of the "slow" couple and Mrs. White KIA Queen of the Road pulls around us and speeds off. I took a good look at her, a woman of about 50ish, now I'm really mad, she should know better. Well, maybe she has a bladder control issue and has wet herself and is in a rush to get home, you really have to give people the benefit of the doubt. ARGH, I hate it when people are rude!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh Sunday.

Ahhhh Sunday. I am trying to make Sunday a different day of the week. I have wanted to keep the Sabbath for a long time know, but didn't really know how being that I'm Mom and my work never ends. Other than going to church, and taking a nap, I couldn't really fathom what a day of rest would be. But I'm starting to understand.

Today, I didn't worry about the house very much. Things were left out and undone, but it was totally okay, I had better things to do. My aim was to rest, to take a break from the ordinary. Sewing is something that I love to do, so I sewed a little. I watched the boys swim and embroidered, I don't do much of that anymore. I also had a long phone conversation with an old friend that I had lost touch with, how nice to hear her voice again!

I still had to run to the grocery store, my pizza dough was awfully hard and I needed to do something else for dinner. I still cooked dinner and even did a little laundry, but on the whole this day was set apart to rest and do what was relaxing to me. I totally get now why God would have us rest. We need a break, for our bodies and our minds. We need a guiltless bread. Hmmmm........makes me think of my little 6 year old boy, who gets really moody, demanding and cries when he is tiered and needs to take a break and rest. I command him to rest. I know what is best for him even when he can't see that he is worn out and having a break down. Out of love, I make him rest. He doesn't want to, it must feel like punishment to him, but it is really an act of love and wisdom.

God knows what we need. Let me encourage you to find a way to make Sunday a restful day!

Nothing is Impossible with God

How is it possible to look at creation and not see the Creator? I so enjoy photographing the beauty that is God's creative expresion of His existance! Just in creation alone you can see how limitless His thoughts and abilities are. Then when you consider all the people of His creation, past, present, and future, it is amazing to even try and fathom his abilites to make people over and again and how different he makes us all.

How silly it must seem to God, that I worry about the future. Why would he leave me uncared for when he provides food for the animals. When I see the beauty of the flowers around me I realize that his abilities and possibilites are limitless! Praise God. My abilities and possibilites are limited and it is foolishness to put my hope in them, when I have a God that is more than able.

I struggle constantly with wanting more, or at least the ability to go get what I want when I want it. But not being able to do so, makes me rely on God. It makes me laugh to myself how God's ways are so the oppisite of the worlds ways. That is why I need to keep in the Word, renewing my mind, and trusting in Him.

My God, my Savior, who died to take my punishment for the sins I have done, made these things in these pictures. May God be glorifed! I thank Him for my eyes that can see them and for the camera that can capture them to share. All good gifts come from Him!

My Love/Hate Relationship with The Library

I love books! I wish that I had a house where I could have one of those old fashioned types of libraries and there would be walls of books from floor to ceiling with the ladders that roll along the shelves. Another dream would be for me to have a large budget that could be spent on Amazon.com for books.

Books to me are opportunities. My mother often said, "If you can read you can learn". I grew up with this saying embedded in my mind and I have taken it to my heart. I have an obsession with learning at times. I have a need to make the wheels in my brain go around and to have the gears frequently oiled. The more you learn and know, the more you learn that there is always more to know.

The library is such a wonderful resource. We have used the library in Visalia, McMinnville, Salem and now Lodi. It has been interesting to see how different these libraries are. The library in McMinnville was artistic and two story (we loved that one)! It had a wonderful room that was dedicated to children and it was a treat to visit there. There were two libraries in Salem. We went to the smaller of the two and this one wasn't down town and I felt it was safer to go to. This library was small but very efficient and well stocked. The kids could get a library card for free, but if I wanted one I was going to be charged $60 a year. The other option was that I could check out one book at a time for free, I took that option. The reason being was that we didn't live in Salem, but Keizer and therefore the charge to use their library.

I have a problem at every library I go to. No matter what I do to prevent it, I always have overdue books and thus fines. I hate library fines. You are supposed to check out the books for free, and the fines just go against the whole free system. I have often tried to pay up, get my account in order and start fresh. Then out of the blue it hits me again............the librarian says, "Um, you owe $8.64 in library fines." What? That can't be true! Argh. Not again! So I fork out the money and vow to never have a late fee ever again. A few months go by and lo and behold it happens again.

Well, today I had the whopper of them all. At Drew's request, we went to the library. He has become quiet the avid reader. I had some books that I checked out last week and was ready to take them back (and didn't want any late fee). We check the books in when we got to the library, then Jake loads up on Sponge Bob books and Drew wants me to ask the librarian to put a hold on a book that he wants (he is into The Edge Chronicles). I go to the desk, and this nice young gal, who has helped us a few times before, looks for the book on her computer (oh how I miss card files and the plain old Dewy Decimal System). As we are once again discussing over due books (and I'm wondering how these books so cleverly hide in my house, fearing that all the time the librarian is thinking we must be total slobs to loose books the way we do) another librarian comes to the counter with a book that I just checked in and says, "This one has water damage and it is still wet" (as to prove that it is all my fault). I take the book in my hands and am just beating myself up inside. So I ask what my options are, hmmm........well I can pay the fine which is the price of the book, or I can pay the price of the book and take it with me. At this point I am just disgusted. The book was a lovely paper back book of Donna Dewberry, who teaches you how to "One Stroke" paint. At least I can use the book in the future, it was all about painting wall murals. So you can bet your bottom dollar, when we buy a house again, I will be putting this book to work and there will be a stinking mural on every wall!

Ok, I tell the nice library lady (I thought the other one was very rude) just tell me how much I owe so I can just clean my slate. The book was $25.99 and the other fees totalled me in at $33. (and some odd cents). I wrote my check and walked out of the library wanting to scream!!!!

I told the kids from now on we are only getting two books at a time, yeah like that will just solve the problem. I am living by Murphy's Law and it is nickel and diming me to death!

Would anyone like me to paint a mural on their wall?

Sometimes the "Good Mom" visits!

The boys and I had a movie night tonight! We watched "The Spiderwick Chronicles", what a cute movie, well it was a bit gross in spots, but hey I used to think the "Grimlins" were cool. Afterward Jake got all the canned tomatoes and tomato paste out of the pantry (that is what they used in the movie to kill the bad monsters) and Drew danced around pretending to kill monsters. These are the times I love. Just having them fly around me being kids.

They have been swimming daily in the beautiful pool that belongs to our landlords. They are away for two months and we get to use the pool and backyard as if it were our own, how wonderful, and praise God! The pool is the saving grace of the summer. I have been feeling trapped here at the house. We live out in the country and every trip to town is about 10 miles in and back; with gas at the crazy price it is and my Troopers hungry appetite for it, I have to think about how often we take off. Jeff has been gone since Sunday (out of the state for business) and I have been personally brooding about not getting to get out of town. The days are long in the summer any way, but for Mrs. Social Butterfly me, being out in the country with neighbors that will not even greet you "Hello" it is a bit like tourture! We do have some very nice and friendly neighbors across the creek, but they are busy with their cows.

Thank the good Lord for phones! What would I do with out a life line to friends? Thank you April for the ear! And Jen, you have blessed me for the rest of my life with the chocolate fountain analogy! Thanks, I needed that!

I have learned over the past few years that I have more patients and endurance with my three guys than I have ever imagined. We have had long stretches of time together. I have dropped my many ideas of being a "good Mom" and I just go for "Mom" and take the "good" when I'm peaceful enough to handle it. Like today for example, I made sugar cookie dough with Jake. It is still sitting in the fridge, chilling, but at least I started something good. Also, I took the boys to the library this week, and have put up with "Guitar Hero". Yeah, way to go Mom, letting Devin get Guitar Hero with his money, that's a great way to introduce your kids to Rock music. What was I thinking. Oh, well, everything they have and do gets old an boring at some time.

I've come to be one with the force of the "Good Mom"! Sometimes she comes to visit and we all love her, then she has to leave because there is real life to live! "Pick up your towel and hang it up, no for the eighth time you can't have a cupcake for breakfast (it's not Saturday yet), get off your brother right now or you will not swim tomorrow...............don't sigh at me when I ask you to do something, do I sigh at you when I wash your clothes or make your dinner, we all work around here!" Yep, reality usually wins out!

There is something special about growing up

with your sister. It's that type of friendship

where you finish each others sentences and

you can just look across the room and know

what the other is thinking. Ah, the giggles,

the nights of camping out in the living room

eating pop tarts and iced aniamal cookies.

My sister paved the way for me, she doesn't

realize how much of what I used to do was because

she made it easy for me. God gave me her

to ease my anxiety, to be the wind beneth

my wings. My sister taught me about

so much, things that I needed to know

but only she would teach me in a way

that was okay to hear it. I love you sis

and I miss our times together.

Pics from the past!

The Opulent Distraction

I needed milk tonight, and then I discovered that I needed bread. Now that all my little boys are home I am going through food at a little bit quicker rate than when they were in school. The best price for milk and bread is at Costco. So off I went by myself to Costco, which is a treat because it means I get to linger at the book section. But before I got to the books I walked through the electronics section. I'm defiantly an electronics lover. I fixed the computer for Jake tonight and he declared that I was a tech-y!
I checked out the Digital SLR cameras, I have a great one, but they are always making them better. One has this great image stabilizer, oh how I would love to have that. Then I walked on and looked at a 750GB hard drive (I thought the price said $21.95 so I picked it up and saw the price of about $140.00 behind it)..... :o(
Rounding the corner there was more to want, use or just think that you should have. A thought came to mind..............

***But first I must interrupt that thought and tell you what I have been feeding my mind on the lately. Last week I was reading a history overview from some of Devin's homeschool curriculum of last year. Over and over I read about people with their faith in Christ being persecuted for their faith, even by the leaders in the Church. Then I started reading Devin's science material and the first chapter is really a history of science. Most of the major men in science where christian believers and they saw the glory of God in their search for truth in science. Finally,
I have started reading a book by John Piper, "Don't Waste Your Life". You can download it for free here: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/1593_Dont_Waste_Your_Life/

The book is about finding your joy in living a life for God's glory. I'm not all the way through the book, but what I am seeing that we are made for God's glory (not our own). It's a large horse pill to swallow. Some parts of the book are hard for me to wrap my mind around. But I can say that I find the most joy, even rapturous joy, when I am in the middle of doing what is glorifying God.

So now back to what came to my mind when I was in Costco........"What if all of this is a distraction?" Let me expound. What if all the stuff that we have before our eyes, the fun things like my sons new Guitar Hero game, and the ipod that plays movies, and the brand new Digital SLR and the new books that I would love to have from Costco are distractions that happily keep me away from what really life is all about? What if the man made stuff is replacing what people used to enjoy, the God made stuff like rivers, trees, birds and flowers. These are the very things that point us to Him. I know that many things of this decade can be used for the glory of God, but my point isn't to say that we should have none of these things. My point is that we work so hard in our lives for things that do not satisfy, things that look like fun but just add more busy to our life and not peace. We all want joy, we all want a full life. God created us with these desires deep within us. The thing is that our joy and our life being full all come from a relationship with Jesus Christ. Everything else is a distraction!

What would be like if all we could hear is the birds singing to God, or the coos of a baby (the infants will praise the Lord). What if we really did smell the flowers and cool off by the running waters of a river. I think that there are people out there that still enjoy what God created.....but I seem to think that main stream man enjoys more of what man has created. I'm just musing here, but it is something to think about. My laptop gives more glory to a tech-head, than do my roses in the front give glory to God.

I know that I am by no means poor. But when I walk through Costco there are so many fun things that I cannot buy, that is not where my money should go. I could get really depressed and go through this whole "Why can't I have more" feeling (I do at times and I have to fight it).

But it is for my joy that I can't have whatever new thing I see and want. It is a greater joy knowing that God has supplied all my needs, and that he wants me to be thankful to him for all that I have. I haven't mastered this yet, it is a life long pursuit for me, but to trust in God brings unimaginable peace and joy! Therefore, I can walk through any store, or browse any website and know that my God shall supply all my needs, according to his riches in glory! If I don't have it, or the means to get it, (not to say that I haven't charged stuff on the credit card that I don't need - another area to work on), I don't have to have it.

Another thing that I have learned as of late, is that I don't need a lot. We are living in a very small house for 5 people. I long for a bigger house and an attached garage and a yard of our own. But we are doing just fine with what we have. The lesson here has come from this small house. I can only fit so much in here. The kitchen is small and I only have so much room to put stuff, so I got rid of the things that I didn't need. Our bedroom doubles as Jeff's home office (which I do not like, but it works). He gets 3/4 of the closet so that he can store work stuff, you can figure out what my part is. The only other storage downstairs in the space under the stairs, and a broom closet in the laundry room. With such limited storage space, I have either donated it to the Goodwill or boxed it up and put it in storage in the garage (that is about 50 feet from the front door). All is good! I don't need a bunch of stuff and truly it is very free-ing!!

To not have stuff sorta lessens the drag on your life.

Now I need to work on the distraction of the computer...................................that one is a big one for me!

This is for my Oregon Friends!

This one is for my Oregon friends, I'm sorry it's still not summer yet! I know that summer will come for you too, be patient!

ZZ Top Dude Saved Our Life

Yesterday, as usual, I went to get Drew from school. Jake came with me while Devin stayed home. As we where coming to a stop, in the left turn lane, (we where the first car), I heard some great 80's music coming from another vehicle. I looked over to the right to see who had such great taste and saw two lanes over a long bearded dude in the cab of a semi truck. He was happily bee-bopping to a familiar 80's song (but I can't remember it). He looked over at us and was looking at Jake in the back seat. I turned my head back to see if Jake noticed him. Then looked at the truck driver to see what he was doing. It was odd to see a man in his 60's, sporting a ZZ Top beard, rocking out to 80's music. So I told Jake to show him the rock-on sign, and Jake waived at Mr. ZZ Top Dude and he waived back.

I then looked ahead and noticed that the turn arrow light was green and just as it registered in my brain, I saw before me a work truck with a flat be trailer speed through the intersection going about 40mph. "What?" I thought. I have a green arrow, hey he ran a red light! Oh my gosh! If I wasn't so into Mr. ZZ Top Dude I would have started to make my turn, not even looking to see if anyone was coming from my left and WHAM! He would have hit me with such force I could have died, and Jake...........................................

I believe in angels! I wonder if Mr. ZZ Top Dude was an angel sent to save our lives. And God knows I love my 80's music and that is a perfect way to get my attention!

Praise God! Thank You God for saving our lives!

Slug Love

Jake came in from playing outside and asked if I could cut him out a square (of fabric). I asked what he wanted it for and he said:

"Well, there is a snail who doesn't have a shell, and probably he is cold."

So I had a good laugh and hugged him as I got up to cut him a square of fabric. He goes outside with it only to return with a tennis ball sporting a shellesss wiggly thing atop it. The piece of fabric was way to big for this 3 cm sized creature. So I cut the square down to about a rectangle the size of a long finger nail. Jake then took it and lovingly covered that "cold" little creature! Ah, there is love in my little tyrant.

We then had to go get Drew from school. So Jake brought with him the slug (Devin told him it was a slug), atop the tennis ball. The mini blanket covered the slug with his head sticking out. As we got maybe a block or so down the road and picked up some speed, it got windy in the car due to the windows down. Well, the blanket must have been affixed to the slug, because Jake said he flew out the window. He was still holding the tennis ball, so the blanket must have air lifted that tiny slug and flung him out the window into oblivion!

Jake was upset. It was all Devin and I could do not to laugh at the fate of the slug.
What was very sweet about the whole thing, is that I work on teaching the boys to cover someone up when they are sleeping and Jake was caring about this tiny little helpless creature. Jake is developing into a caring person and that is such a beautiful thing........in light of other parts of his personality!

Etsy.com Shop Open

Finally, my Etsy.com store is open!
I have 8 items up for sale and a few
more on the way! Please go and take
a look! And let other people know about
etsy.com!

Click the link below:

www.ddmariedee.etsy.com

Deanne's Avitar

A Beautiful Blessing

When God gives blessings, he doesn't give every person the same type of gifts. To some they have the blessing of a large home to entertain in, to others he may give a blessing of a wonderful vacation, and to others he may give a blessing of extra money to share. Today, He gave me a gift that is special just for me.

Jake and I saw a peacock a few days ago when we took the long way home from his school. After watching the peacock we drove home, only to be stopped by someone walking along side the road. A lady had hand signaled to us to slow down, she didn't want us to hit her dog as he was loose on the side of the road. I told her about the peacock we had just seen. She said that the farmer down the way owned them.

Yesterday, Jake and I went to the farm office (not knowing that this was a big deal farm that grew grapes for wine). In the office there was pictures with the farmer and people like,
our State Governor, the Governor's wife and even pictures with the U.S. President and his wife. I love not knowing who the big wigs are in town, then I'm not intimidated! So I asked if I could come back to take pictures of the peacocks. The lady in the front office said that I could come during business hours.

So I loaded up my beloved camera today and prayed to the Creator of these very peacocks and asked Him to give me some good shots! Oh, what a wonderful blessing form God. I love to
photograph God's creation!!! These pictures are from a wonderful blessing I received today!

Look below for some of the best shots.

God's Gift

Tabasco Sauce and Jesus

We have our little house sorta turned upside down right now. The boys room had mold on the wallpaper so the landlords and I ripped the wallpaper down yesterday. Today they had some men come to fix the walls so that tomorrow we can paint. Everything that was in the boys room (less the closet) was moved into our already too small living room. I lost all desire to clean, cook or do any laundry. So tonight the boys and I went to Denny's for dinner. For some reason the waitress put Tabasco sauce on the table. Devin smelled it and decided that he didn't like the smell. We had dinner and forgot about it all together until Devin was mixing mustard and ketchup on his plate to make BBQ sauce. Jake then took the Tabasco sauce and I thought I heard him say:

"This is what they put on Jesus"
I replied, "This is what they put on Jesus?"
"No", he says,"this is what they put on Cheese-it's"
(They had spicy hot Cheese-it's the other day.)
I had a good laugh.

I knew that they gave Jesus vinegar to drink.........so
I thought maybe he got mixed up.

A Barren Time

It is a difficult spot when you are barren. Of course, I have never experienced barrenness in regards to having no children. As of late, my life has seemed barren. I know that God allows us to walk through these painful periods of time. My only thought is that these times, like their brother "Trials", teach us to put all of our trust and hope in God Himself.

Before we moved back to California from Oregon, I was in a study at church that was all about bearing fruit in our lives. The teaching was based on Jesus teaching on remaining in him and thus being able to bear fruit (Spiritual fruit). I love this teaching, it gives me such hope and motivation to have a close walk with my Lord and to have a life that is full of Spiritual growth and fruit (the real beauty of life on earth).

By the time I arrived in Lodi, CA I was very tiered spiritually. To my regret, I wanted a break from the long journey of walking in complete dependence on my Lord. I didn't abandon Jesus, but felt like I needed some rest from my trials. Stupid girl! There are no breaks! When you take your hands off the wheel, not to sin but to breath, it isn't wise. I have been in the desert, so to speak. It's dry in the dessert and you get really thirsty. The only true water is the living water that Jesus gives. Without the living water, or only sips, you get tired, and cranky. I'm learning a lesson here, it isn't wise to take breaks.

This break doesn't mean not reading my Bible and not praying, it means taking my eyes off of my Lord and putting them on myself. Self pity, bitterness, and wanting things for me without checking it out with Jesus. Not wanting bad sinful things, just not wanting to worry so much about deeper spiritual things and being more concerned with earthly needs and desires. This is unwise.

Spring is happening around Lodi, CA. The Lord is using it to teach me. About two weeks ago, I noticed something that was very much a part of this earth and very spiritual to me. Here in Lodi, out in the country where we live, there are grape vineyards all around. The vines had been pruned back to almost nothing. I could identify with the vines, feeling like God had pruned me back to nothing over the past few years and especially in the last 8 months.

I could remember when we came here that these very same vines had the most beautiful grapes hanging on them! What hope these barren vines had. There master new just what to do to produce this beautiful bounty of fruit again, to prune off all the used up and dying leaves and vines to start a fresh for this season of growth. Ah, there is hope for me also!

We were out of town for a little more that a week and when we returned these vines where starting to bud with green fresh new growth! Actually there was new growth all around.

There is a large very old vine that has attached itself to an oak tree that is at the entrance of the drive to our home. I have been intrigued by this vine every since we moved here. You can see that it has grown on that tree for decades because it is so large. I often wondered why someone hadn't already cut it down. When we returned home just a few days ago I learned the answer to that question. This vine that had intertwined itself up into this oak tree has the most beautiful blossoms of lavender on it. All throughout the dry branches of the oak tree there is a wonderful display of color to delight the viewer.

Oh, that God would do the same growth and blossoming in my life. Oh, that God would do the same for you and we can share in his glory, patients, long suffering and love!

Seam Ripping

I've been sewing like crazy........and seam ripping like crazy.
I forgot that I can be some what of a perfectionist. After so many
years of all the miss haps and changed plans of living with little
children, I forgot that I like things to look really good and expect
a lot out of myself. I only hope that this will show to be quality work
in my clothing.
I'm taking a sewing break and heading about a 3 hour drive South
of home to go see family and friends for the Easter holiday. It will
be good to be out of the house and doing something different.
I'm hoping to get my first set of clothes online for sale the first
week of April! I can't wait to start selling and sharing these sweet
pieces of clothing with the world!

What's in a name?

What does the name "d.d.Mariedee" mean? First of all the current meaning to the name "d.d.Mariedee" has to do with my creations, the things I make to sell on ebay and etsy.com.
I wanted to have a business name for the clothing and other things that I will be selling.

Where the name came from is another story. Actually, my Mom will sometimes loving refer to me as DeeDeeMarie-Dee. When I was a little girl my nick name was DeeDee. It was very cute at 4 years old, but some where around the time I started school I decided that I had out grown it. I wanted to be called by my real name Deanne (pronounced Dee-Ann).

My Mom was and is a very good seamstress. She would sew cloths for my sister and I when we where young girls. I remember when I was in 5th grade I wanted name brand jeans that we could not afford (in 1981 they cost about $30.00)! My Mom made me jeans and embroidered a design on the back pockets to make them look like the name brand ones. That was so loving to me. She also made the prom dress I wore to my first prom. It was like a fairy tale to me. Needles to say, I learned to sew from my Mom. So it seems fitting to use the name "d.d.Mariedee" to name my clothing and creations!

I finished an outfit this weekend and it turned out so cute! I can't wait to sew some more!

Getting Started

I'm getting started on my first lot of custom one-of-a-kind little girls clothing. My husband and I had a nice (long needed) weekend away last weekend and I got to go fabric shopping. We were in the Montery Bay area and I found a quilt store in Pacific Grove, Back Porch Fabric, (http://www.backporchfabrics.com/). The ladies there where very friendly and they had a wonderful selection of fabrics.

After coming home I went shoping for the things that I would need for the finishing work of the garmets, like zippers and trim and the like. I love this part of what I do, it is so much fun for me to choose the things I like and imagine what they will turn out like. I have learned to be flexable when I was making quilts about design ideas changing, because I woud often have to adjust my ideas as I go. This works the same with making clothing, my ideas will often morph as I go alone and the garmet will look very different than what I origionally saw in my head. This is fun, it's like the fabric and embelishments have a life of their own!

I'm starting this blog to give people an ide of who I am, and how I create my pieces. I will blog soon about what the name d.d.Mariedee means and how I chose it for my work.