A Barren Time

It is a difficult spot when you are barren. Of course, I have never experienced barrenness in regards to having no children. As of late, my life has seemed barren. I know that God allows us to walk through these painful periods of time. My only thought is that these times, like their brother "Trials", teach us to put all of our trust and hope in God Himself.

Before we moved back to California from Oregon, I was in a study at church that was all about bearing fruit in our lives. The teaching was based on Jesus teaching on remaining in him and thus being able to bear fruit (Spiritual fruit). I love this teaching, it gives me such hope and motivation to have a close walk with my Lord and to have a life that is full of Spiritual growth and fruit (the real beauty of life on earth).

By the time I arrived in Lodi, CA I was very tiered spiritually. To my regret, I wanted a break from the long journey of walking in complete dependence on my Lord. I didn't abandon Jesus, but felt like I needed some rest from my trials. Stupid girl! There are no breaks! When you take your hands off the wheel, not to sin but to breath, it isn't wise. I have been in the desert, so to speak. It's dry in the dessert and you get really thirsty. The only true water is the living water that Jesus gives. Without the living water, or only sips, you get tired, and cranky. I'm learning a lesson here, it isn't wise to take breaks.

This break doesn't mean not reading my Bible and not praying, it means taking my eyes off of my Lord and putting them on myself. Self pity, bitterness, and wanting things for me without checking it out with Jesus. Not wanting bad sinful things, just not wanting to worry so much about deeper spiritual things and being more concerned with earthly needs and desires. This is unwise.

Spring is happening around Lodi, CA. The Lord is using it to teach me. About two weeks ago, I noticed something that was very much a part of this earth and very spiritual to me. Here in Lodi, out in the country where we live, there are grape vineyards all around. The vines had been pruned back to almost nothing. I could identify with the vines, feeling like God had pruned me back to nothing over the past few years and especially in the last 8 months.

I could remember when we came here that these very same vines had the most beautiful grapes hanging on them! What hope these barren vines had. There master new just what to do to produce this beautiful bounty of fruit again, to prune off all the used up and dying leaves and vines to start a fresh for this season of growth. Ah, there is hope for me also!

We were out of town for a little more that a week and when we returned these vines where starting to bud with green fresh new growth! Actually there was new growth all around.

There is a large very old vine that has attached itself to an oak tree that is at the entrance of the drive to our home. I have been intrigued by this vine every since we moved here. You can see that it has grown on that tree for decades because it is so large. I often wondered why someone hadn't already cut it down. When we returned home just a few days ago I learned the answer to that question. This vine that had intertwined itself up into this oak tree has the most beautiful blossoms of lavender on it. All throughout the dry branches of the oak tree there is a wonderful display of color to delight the viewer.

Oh, that God would do the same growth and blossoming in my life. Oh, that God would do the same for you and we can share in his glory, patients, long suffering and love!