I was sewing on Thursday, and realized how nice life had been. My mind was at peace because life had finally calmed down and I couldn't think of any present trials. Ahhhhh.....that was what my heart felt.
Then I noticed how warm the room was and I went and check the thermostat. Once again, our A/C went out; this was about the fourth time since we moved here back in March. Three and one half months in a house and repeated problems, first with the heater and then with the A/C.
My husband was supposed to fly home from Chicago last night after being gone for 4 days. His flight was canceled, and since he was planning to turn around on Monday to go to Arkansas, he decided to stay. So that means no hubby for one week and no one to step in and give me a breather of my maternal responsibilities. I'm taking a nap once I post this, just to have enough energy for shopping at Winco on the weekend with my three boys in tow.
One thing I love to do when life gets stressful is to sew. I once had a physical therapist tell me to relax, he asked what I did that I enjoyed and my answer was sewing. I loved the fact that part of my physical therapy was to make time for relaxing by sewing. I could have kissed him for that (on the check of course)! Well, the kicker is, that amongst the stress of life this week my sewing machine has decided to malfunction. Now I can't even sew away my frustration.
I find it interesting that once I acknowledged how good things were going, things started to unravel. For some reason, my loving Lord, has been diligently working on patience with me. I didn't know that I was an inpatient person before, He must have seen me from a different angle (as he does with us all).
At the very least I enjoyed a few moments of ahhhhhh...................................
Life will always have its problems; it is the nature of living in a fallen world. The thing is, I am beginning to grasp that what are irritations and frustrations for us can be for our own good. God says in His word that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. From his perspective he loves us so much that he wants the best for us and what is best for us is that we are formed into the image of his Son Jesus Christ. If it takes irritations, frustrations or even more intense things of life to form us to be patient, loving or forgiving like Christ then I can honestly say that it is worth it (and a bit more bearable from that angle).
The love of God is different than what love is in pop culture. His love is to bring us to himself. This is not a selfish thing on his part, it is what He knows is best for us.
If I have no A/C, no hubby at home, no break and no sewing machine I will live. But without God I have nothing and am nothing. I praise God for his great love and for supplying all my needs in Christ.
As I write this on Sat. I am enjoying having our A/C back, my hubby is getting a much needed R and R and I will be praying about getting a new sewing machine.
May God bless you in the good and bad of life, and give you eyes to see that the greatest blessing is in Himself.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Angst of Moving to a New City
I am so happy! I love the house we have moved into. We all have room to move around without being on top of each other.
I am so overwhelmed (at times) and that makes me a bit obsessive and cranky. Moving is so much more than the moving day. Moving is so much more than unpacking boxes. Now, maybe if you move to a new house or apartment in your same town it is relatively simple. But moving to three different towns in three years gets a bit tiresome.
Once the furniture is in place and there are pictures on the wall (very important to me because I'm a nester) then you move on to the next phase. The next phase consist of restocking the fridge and pantry, getting enough t.p. in the house for the whole family, and remembering where you put everything so at any given time when your asked where something is you will have the correct answer. Phase three is all about the details. Every home has things that are peculiar and unique that it needs. Some homes need creative storage places, some homes need special window coverings and this home needs creative and special ways to hang decor, as to not ruin the freshly painted paneling. And with the details comes many trips to the hardware store and Target.
After you have created a place to do all your home stuff you must venture out and learn a whole new city. How to get around and find the basics is essential. You must find what part of town has all the cute shops and restaurants, what part of town do I avoid after dark and how do I get to these places or stear clear of these places; these are all part of moving.
Moving to a new city encompasses finding a new doctor for the kids, new eye doctor for me (because I need a new contact prescription), where is the walk in medical clinic (the one here is very hard to find), finding a new drug store, finding a doctor for me because it is that lovely time of the year for that dreaded physical. Oh, and not to mention, you have to find someone to cut your hair, and all the ladies reading this know that you don't want to make any mistakes in this department! Questions like this arise: where is the post office? where should we go to church this Sunday and what type of church are we looking to be a part of? where is the library? Do I have to bring proof of residence to get a library card? And since I have already had major car problems here....what tow truck company do I call? and where is a mechanic that I can trust? All of these things that I have acquired over many many years living in one place now need to be establish within weeks!
Then I must move on to getting caught up on all the bills, changing my address with all the bills, finding where my bank is, changing the address there and getting new checks, remembering what my address is! At least my phone number is the same!
This move has had it own unique challenge. Instead of enrolling the boys into school and doing all of these things when they are gone for the day, I have started homeschooling all three of them. Devin and I have been working together since his last school year. Jake came home for school last November and I was still working on figuring out how to teach two. Then after the move Drew is starting home school. It has been a bumpy start. The boys, on the most part, are very willing to do their work, but that is on the most part! There are tears, arguments over the work at hand and many squiggles and squirms. Each week I feel that I have made progress with them. But then there was yesterday, I was so overwhelmed with all the stuff to do, I just threw in the towel, so to speak, declared a no school day and got to the many tasks at hand.
I would love to be totally organized and to have a schedule, but why, I ask myself. My life has changed consistently in many ways over the past three years (I have lived in 5 different houses), all I can do is just keep the Postma boat afloat!
I wish that I had an extra day in my week, where time just stood still, like in those movies where everyone else is frozen and one or two people keep moving. Then at least I could work and get "caught up" without making a meal or dealing with a brotherly spat. Then after the one day stop action I would make life go again and sail more smoothing through it. Oh, a girl can at least dream can't she?!
I love my life! It has been a crazy ride. I told my husband when he married me that life would never be dull with me and I have kept my word :0). Where I'm at with the ages of my boys right now is wonderful and I wish I could just slow everything down and savor, savor savor!
My youngest son Jake has asked me the same type of question on two different occasions. He asked me what kind of job I would like to have. Really I'm doing the type of job I would like to have, and for that I am grateful and blessed. What would make the job so much sweeter is to "get to where ever we are going" (as my husband says) and settle down and put down roots.
One thing that has helped me through the loneliness of moving to a new area is Facebook. Yeah, I know I posted before that I got off of it and it wasn't for me. At the time I was hating watching other people be with thier friends and do stuff together.......I couldn't watch, it made me feel so lonely and like I was on the outside of life looking in. Now, I am really just enjoying reconnecting with some dear friends of my "girlhood" days, and keeping up with friends lives.
I'm just going to jump into the game of life while I live here, for however long I live here and when it is over, I will just pack my bags and move on. Moving to a new city is never easy. But then life is never easy for anyone any where. At least we have each other! Love to all my family and friends!
I am so overwhelmed (at times) and that makes me a bit obsessive and cranky. Moving is so much more than the moving day. Moving is so much more than unpacking boxes. Now, maybe if you move to a new house or apartment in your same town it is relatively simple. But moving to three different towns in three years gets a bit tiresome.
Once the furniture is in place and there are pictures on the wall (very important to me because I'm a nester) then you move on to the next phase. The next phase consist of restocking the fridge and pantry, getting enough t.p. in the house for the whole family, and remembering where you put everything so at any given time when your asked where something is you will have the correct answer. Phase three is all about the details. Every home has things that are peculiar and unique that it needs. Some homes need creative storage places, some homes need special window coverings and this home needs creative and special ways to hang decor, as to not ruin the freshly painted paneling. And with the details comes many trips to the hardware store and Target.
After you have created a place to do all your home stuff you must venture out and learn a whole new city. How to get around and find the basics is essential. You must find what part of town has all the cute shops and restaurants, what part of town do I avoid after dark and how do I get to these places or stear clear of these places; these are all part of moving.
Moving to a new city encompasses finding a new doctor for the kids, new eye doctor for me (because I need a new contact prescription), where is the walk in medical clinic (the one here is very hard to find), finding a new drug store, finding a doctor for me because it is that lovely time of the year for that dreaded physical. Oh, and not to mention, you have to find someone to cut your hair, and all the ladies reading this know that you don't want to make any mistakes in this department! Questions like this arise: where is the post office? where should we go to church this Sunday and what type of church are we looking to be a part of? where is the library? Do I have to bring proof of residence to get a library card? And since I have already had major car problems here....what tow truck company do I call? and where is a mechanic that I can trust? All of these things that I have acquired over many many years living in one place now need to be establish within weeks!
Then I must move on to getting caught up on all the bills, changing my address with all the bills, finding where my bank is, changing the address there and getting new checks, remembering what my address is! At least my phone number is the same!
This move has had it own unique challenge. Instead of enrolling the boys into school and doing all of these things when they are gone for the day, I have started homeschooling all three of them. Devin and I have been working together since his last school year. Jake came home for school last November and I was still working on figuring out how to teach two. Then after the move Drew is starting home school. It has been a bumpy start. The boys, on the most part, are very willing to do their work, but that is on the most part! There are tears, arguments over the work at hand and many squiggles and squirms. Each week I feel that I have made progress with them. But then there was yesterday, I was so overwhelmed with all the stuff to do, I just threw in the towel, so to speak, declared a no school day and got to the many tasks at hand.
I would love to be totally organized and to have a schedule, but why, I ask myself. My life has changed consistently in many ways over the past three years (I have lived in 5 different houses), all I can do is just keep the Postma boat afloat!
I wish that I had an extra day in my week, where time just stood still, like in those movies where everyone else is frozen and one or two people keep moving. Then at least I could work and get "caught up" without making a meal or dealing with a brotherly spat. Then after the one day stop action I would make life go again and sail more smoothing through it. Oh, a girl can at least dream can't she?!
I love my life! It has been a crazy ride. I told my husband when he married me that life would never be dull with me and I have kept my word :0). Where I'm at with the ages of my boys right now is wonderful and I wish I could just slow everything down and savor, savor savor!
My youngest son Jake has asked me the same type of question on two different occasions. He asked me what kind of job I would like to have. Really I'm doing the type of job I would like to have, and for that I am grateful and blessed. What would make the job so much sweeter is to "get to where ever we are going" (as my husband says) and settle down and put down roots.
One thing that has helped me through the loneliness of moving to a new area is Facebook. Yeah, I know I posted before that I got off of it and it wasn't for me. At the time I was hating watching other people be with thier friends and do stuff together.......I couldn't watch, it made me feel so lonely and like I was on the outside of life looking in. Now, I am really just enjoying reconnecting with some dear friends of my "girlhood" days, and keeping up with friends lives.
I'm just going to jump into the game of life while I live here, for however long I live here and when it is over, I will just pack my bags and move on. Moving to a new city is never easy. But then life is never easy for anyone any where. At least we have each other! Love to all my family and friends!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Bargain Hunting Leads to Faith Fuel
I have a confession to make…..I am a self titled “Queen of the Bargain” and I’m addicted to finding the most cost effective way to do almost anything. I can’t just go out and buy something, I have to hunt and hunt, and do the math to find a way to get what I want for the best dollar value possible. It’s a bit thrilling to me. It’s not just getting the cheapest things (I really sorta hate the “Dollar Store”), no it’s about quality too.
Last night I was browsing my favorite bargain hunting site, craigslist.com, not because I need anything, but I am addicted to looking. I found something that really interested me. I have wanted to get a new set of dishes. Right now we have an eclectic mix of melamine, stoneware and the few pieces left from our wedding gifts. I would like to be able to set the table nice for dinner. What I found on craigslist was just what I wanted, a set of white dishes with a soup tureen, gravy dish, creamer, two serving bowls and another serving dish with a lid, cups and saucers all for $30! I couldn’t believe it! I called on the ad and made plans to go and purchase them today.
When I got to the home of the lady selling the dishes, I was greeted by Debbie, a women who was somewhere in her latter 50’s or early 60’s. She had me come in, to her home full of stuff. From our phone conversation I knew that she was helping a friend sell his things and assumed that a lot of the extra furniture everywhere was from him. She showed me a box of dishes and I agreed to buy them. I asked about some bowls I also knew she was selling and got 7 stoneware bowls for $5! I noticed sitting on a table near the dishes some lamps that I saw on another ad and asked if she had more lamps. She took me to another room and we visited as I looked at the lamps. I got a lamp for $5! I noticed up on her wall two different wooden plaques. One plaque had a picture of an older man with his head bowed praying and the other of an older woman with her head bowed praying. I told her that I like her pictures and that my grandma had the same pictures in her house.
After that she started to talk about prayer. Oh we had a wonderful conversation sharing about the power of prayer. She told me a story about her daughter who drove truck and who was in Iowa when there were really bad floods. She said that her daughter was driving near a river that was flooding and that the water from the river was very slimy. He daughter feared that the truck would slip and slide off the road. She called her mom on the phone to pray for her. Debbie said that she stayed on the phone with her daughter and prayed the whole time her daughter was driving through this dangerous area. He daughter told her that it was the most amazing thing. She could feel the wheels of her truck slipping but only to a point and they wouldn’t go past that point. She said other cars were slipping and swerving off the road, but not her truck! Wow! It is so amazing to here of God’s miracles.
Then, sorta out of the blue, Debbie told me that she prayed for a house for 20 years. She told me how she was living in an apartment and at one point her rent was going to be raised by almost $400. She knew that she was not able to afford the rent after that. She then moved in with her sister, which wasn’t a great situation. Her parents at that time where in bad health, her Mom had a stroke and her father was ill. Her father was diagnosed with Lou Garragain’s disease and she moved into her parents home to care for them. Her father died and she stayed to care for her Mom. She said that one day she was in her room crying and praying because she didn’t know where she was going to live after her mother passed. She thought that the home would have to be sold and split between her and her sister.
Her mother walked in and caught her crying and praying. Her mother inquired to what was bothering her. Debbie shared her concerned with her Mom. Her mother then told her that she didn’t have to worry about that because she was giving the house to her! Debbie said that her mother would have times after her stroke when she wasn’t well mentally and then times that she was. She said that God had given her mother just enough of a window of mental stability to prepare for her daughter to legally have the house after she passed and that there was just enough money in her savings account to pay for the lawyer.
She also told me that she had a specific list of things she had wanted in a house, she had been asking God, in prayer, for these things for 20 years. All the things she had asked for she received and even more! God had it all worked out and he is very good.
Debbie didn’t have her life paved out neatly before her. She didn’t have all the answers. She didn’t have money in the bank to make all of her dreams come true. But over the years of hardship and trials God was working out something much more precious than gold in her life. Debbie had the richest riches of all, she has faith in Christ Jesus, and she has hope and trust in God expressed in patient perseverance in prayer. Debbie also has a very rare and valuable gift to share and she freely gave it to me today. She gave me the gift of encouragement, fellowship and faith. Yeah, I got a whopper of deal on some dishes, stoneware bowls and a lamp, but the real blessing is what she gave away to me for free.
I drove away very full, happy and satisfied. As I was going home a passage in Scripture came to my mind. This part of Scripture has been puzzling to me for a long time. It is oxymoron of sorts:
James 2:5 says, “Listen, my dear brothers and sisters! Did not God choose the poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom that he promised to those who love him?”
It has been difficult in the past to understand that the poor of the world would be rich in faith. I have been slowly able to grasp its meaning. Debbie personified its meaning for me today. When a person has no means of their own to provide something that they need or want they have a few choices: 1) they can steal, 2) They can become bitter and unhappy, or 3)They can pray and ask God to provide and put their hope, trust and reliance in Him. If a person chooses #3, they are well on their way to becoming rich in faith. I am beginning to see that some of God’s richest blessings lay in the realm of our need. The things that are beyond our reach to get, the things that only he can give us are where His hand touches ours in a real and tangible way. Our eyes can truly see that “all generous giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or the slightest hint of change.” (James 1:17)
And what is the response to such perfect gifts that he gives? God wants us to respond to Him with thankfulness! We are to lift up a sacrifice of thanks to God. I encourage you to make it a habit to notice the wonderful gifts that God is giving you right now, and thank him.
Here is a simple example. I had dinner with a gal in Oregon and when she prayed she thanked God for the money to buy the meal. I commented after her prayer that I never heard anyone thank God for the money to buy their meal. She told me that there were times that her and her husband didn’t have much and from that she learned to thank God for the money to purchase her meal ; simple but very poignant.
I want to be more like Debbie. I want to go to God with every need and desire and I want to freely share all that he has given to me.
Last night I was browsing my favorite bargain hunting site, craigslist.com, not because I need anything, but I am addicted to looking. I found something that really interested me. I have wanted to get a new set of dishes. Right now we have an eclectic mix of melamine, stoneware and the few pieces left from our wedding gifts. I would like to be able to set the table nice for dinner. What I found on craigslist was just what I wanted, a set of white dishes with a soup tureen, gravy dish, creamer, two serving bowls and another serving dish with a lid, cups and saucers all for $30! I couldn’t believe it! I called on the ad and made plans to go and purchase them today.
When I got to the home of the lady selling the dishes, I was greeted by Debbie, a women who was somewhere in her latter 50’s or early 60’s. She had me come in, to her home full of stuff. From our phone conversation I knew that she was helping a friend sell his things and assumed that a lot of the extra furniture everywhere was from him. She showed me a box of dishes and I agreed to buy them. I asked about some bowls I also knew she was selling and got 7 stoneware bowls for $5! I noticed sitting on a table near the dishes some lamps that I saw on another ad and asked if she had more lamps. She took me to another room and we visited as I looked at the lamps. I got a lamp for $5! I noticed up on her wall two different wooden plaques. One plaque had a picture of an older man with his head bowed praying and the other of an older woman with her head bowed praying. I told her that I like her pictures and that my grandma had the same pictures in her house.
After that she started to talk about prayer. Oh we had a wonderful conversation sharing about the power of prayer. She told me a story about her daughter who drove truck and who was in Iowa when there were really bad floods. She said that her daughter was driving near a river that was flooding and that the water from the river was very slimy. He daughter feared that the truck would slip and slide off the road. She called her mom on the phone to pray for her. Debbie said that she stayed on the phone with her daughter and prayed the whole time her daughter was driving through this dangerous area. He daughter told her that it was the most amazing thing. She could feel the wheels of her truck slipping but only to a point and they wouldn’t go past that point. She said other cars were slipping and swerving off the road, but not her truck! Wow! It is so amazing to here of God’s miracles.
Then, sorta out of the blue, Debbie told me that she prayed for a house for 20 years. She told me how she was living in an apartment and at one point her rent was going to be raised by almost $400. She knew that she was not able to afford the rent after that. She then moved in with her sister, which wasn’t a great situation. Her parents at that time where in bad health, her Mom had a stroke and her father was ill. Her father was diagnosed with Lou Garragain’s disease and she moved into her parents home to care for them. Her father died and she stayed to care for her Mom. She said that one day she was in her room crying and praying because she didn’t know where she was going to live after her mother passed. She thought that the home would have to be sold and split between her and her sister.
Her mother walked in and caught her crying and praying. Her mother inquired to what was bothering her. Debbie shared her concerned with her Mom. Her mother then told her that she didn’t have to worry about that because she was giving the house to her! Debbie said that her mother would have times after her stroke when she wasn’t well mentally and then times that she was. She said that God had given her mother just enough of a window of mental stability to prepare for her daughter to legally have the house after she passed and that there was just enough money in her savings account to pay for the lawyer.
She also told me that she had a specific list of things she had wanted in a house, she had been asking God, in prayer, for these things for 20 years. All the things she had asked for she received and even more! God had it all worked out and he is very good.
Debbie didn’t have her life paved out neatly before her. She didn’t have all the answers. She didn’t have money in the bank to make all of her dreams come true. But over the years of hardship and trials God was working out something much more precious than gold in her life. Debbie had the richest riches of all, she has faith in Christ Jesus, and she has hope and trust in God expressed in patient perseverance in prayer. Debbie also has a very rare and valuable gift to share and she freely gave it to me today. She gave me the gift of encouragement, fellowship and faith. Yeah, I got a whopper of deal on some dishes, stoneware bowls and a lamp, but the real blessing is what she gave away to me for free.
I drove away very full, happy and satisfied. As I was going home a passage in Scripture came to my mind. This part of Scripture has been puzzling to me for a long time. It is oxymoron of sorts:
James 2:5 says, “Listen, my dear brothers and sisters! Did not God choose the poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom that he promised to those who love him?”
It has been difficult in the past to understand that the poor of the world would be rich in faith. I have been slowly able to grasp its meaning. Debbie personified its meaning for me today. When a person has no means of their own to provide something that they need or want they have a few choices: 1) they can steal, 2) They can become bitter and unhappy, or 3)They can pray and ask God to provide and put their hope, trust and reliance in Him. If a person chooses #3, they are well on their way to becoming rich in faith. I am beginning to see that some of God’s richest blessings lay in the realm of our need. The things that are beyond our reach to get, the things that only he can give us are where His hand touches ours in a real and tangible way. Our eyes can truly see that “all generous giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or the slightest hint of change.” (James 1:17)
And what is the response to such perfect gifts that he gives? God wants us to respond to Him with thankfulness! We are to lift up a sacrifice of thanks to God. I encourage you to make it a habit to notice the wonderful gifts that God is giving you right now, and thank him.
Here is a simple example. I had dinner with a gal in Oregon and when she prayed she thanked God for the money to buy the meal. I commented after her prayer that I never heard anyone thank God for the money to buy their meal. She told me that there were times that her and her husband didn’t have much and from that she learned to thank God for the money to purchase her meal ; simple but very poignant.
I want to be more like Debbie. I want to go to God with every need and desire and I want to freely share all that he has given to me.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Lighten Up Already!
In Genesis 1:3 and 4 it says:God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light! God saw that the light was good, so God separated the light from the darkness.
The Bible says that Jesus is the light of the world. In Sunday school as a little girl I would sing, "This Little light of mine". Light is from God. God created it! He created the sun and made plants to grow by the light of the sun and then placed man in a garden with plants. The sunlight is part of what plants need to grow and produce fruits and vegetables. On a sunny day we think of going outside and enjoying the sunlight.
Light is important to God and I have discovered that it is extremely important to me.
So, why all this writing about light? This over interest in light is due to the fact for the last 16 and 1/2 months I have been living in darkness. I have not been living in totally darkness, but it has been a dreary lack of light. In our little house there is a lack of light. I have often compared it to living in some one's basement. A few of you have visited me here in Lodi, in our oh-so-tiny house that is dim and dreary. One of my dearest friends has seen pictures and replied, "I see what you mean" to my complaints of my un-homey home. For those of you who know me well, I'm a very homey person. Don't get me wrong, I love to get out and about, but my home is important to me. Every single home that I have lived in, and it has been many!
I have been waiting-out living here, thinking that this would be very temporary and that we would possibly move with a job transfer for Jeff. We are still thinking that this could happen, but it will take some time, the right job and an offer; all of which are out of our hands and in God's hands. For the past two weeks I have been looking for a new place to live. I didn't feel I could continue in such a small place that was so dark. I look around the Lodi/Stockton area and just didn't find what I was looking for, for the price I wanted. I called Jeff last Tuesday, and started to cry, tears of frustration. He suggested looking in Modesto. I hopped right on that! I went to Modesto later in the day and looked at two places. The first place was too small and the other was more than I wanted to pay. I went home a bit discouraged, and with my oldest one thinking that I was too picky and that nothing would satisfy me. This was a good time for a good lesson for Devin. I explained to him that you have to know what you want and how much you are willing to pay for it and keep looking until you find it.
The next morning I jumped onto craigslist.com (if you haven't discovered this yet, you are missing out on the world of bargains!) Craigslist.com is a place that people advertise to sell stuff locally. There is other stuff on there (some not good) but you just search for the things you want. What I found was a house in Modesto that was at a great price and looked like what I was looking for. I went to look at it that day, and took Jeff back that night and................we are moving to Modesto!
That's right, everyone get out your white out, and cover up our old address and make room for a new one! We are here in the dungen....er....I mean, the old house until the end of February. Then off to Modesto we go!
This is a picture taken in the living room of the house we are at now:
The Bible says that Jesus is the light of the world. In Sunday school as a little girl I would sing, "This Little light of mine". Light is from God. God created it! He created the sun and made plants to grow by the light of the sun and then placed man in a garden with plants. The sunlight is part of what plants need to grow and produce fruits and vegetables. On a sunny day we think of going outside and enjoying the sunlight.
Light is important to God and I have discovered that it is extremely important to me.
So, why all this writing about light? This over interest in light is due to the fact for the last 16 and 1/2 months I have been living in darkness. I have not been living in totally darkness, but it has been a dreary lack of light. In our little house there is a lack of light. I have often compared it to living in some one's basement. A few of you have visited me here in Lodi, in our oh-so-tiny house that is dim and dreary. One of my dearest friends has seen pictures and replied, "I see what you mean" to my complaints of my un-homey home. For those of you who know me well, I'm a very homey person. Don't get me wrong, I love to get out and about, but my home is important to me. Every single home that I have lived in, and it has been many!
I have been waiting-out living here, thinking that this would be very temporary and that we would possibly move with a job transfer for Jeff. We are still thinking that this could happen, but it will take some time, the right job and an offer; all of which are out of our hands and in God's hands. For the past two weeks I have been looking for a new place to live. I didn't feel I could continue in such a small place that was so dark. I look around the Lodi/Stockton area and just didn't find what I was looking for, for the price I wanted. I called Jeff last Tuesday, and started to cry, tears of frustration. He suggested looking in Modesto. I hopped right on that! I went to Modesto later in the day and looked at two places. The first place was too small and the other was more than I wanted to pay. I went home a bit discouraged, and with my oldest one thinking that I was too picky and that nothing would satisfy me. This was a good time for a good lesson for Devin. I explained to him that you have to know what you want and how much you are willing to pay for it and keep looking until you find it.
The next morning I jumped onto craigslist.com (if you haven't discovered this yet, you are missing out on the world of bargains!) Craigslist.com is a place that people advertise to sell stuff locally. There is other stuff on there (some not good) but you just search for the things you want. What I found was a house in Modesto that was at a great price and looked like what I was looking for. I went to look at it that day, and took Jeff back that night and................we are moving to Modesto!
That's right, everyone get out your white out, and cover up our old address and make room for a new one! We are here in the dungen....er....I mean, the old house until the end of February. Then off to Modesto we go!
This is a picture taken in the living room of the house we are at now:
Dark!Dark!Dark!
Ahhh......The Light Shines Through!
I am here to say that God answers prayers!
I have been asking God for a bigger kitchen and
a bigger house. This is the house in Modesto.
I'm so excited, and I can't wait to decorate!!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Respect and Grace
Respect. It is an odd concept really. As children we are taught to respect our elders, our parents and our teachers. As young adults we know we are to show respect to our boss, our church leaders, and the police and the judge when we are called to jury duty. But then at some point in life respect gets personal.
When I was a young Mom, I think that the need for respect for myself was born along with my first child. There is something amazing that happens when you have a baby. Maybe this amazing thing doesn't happen for everyone, but I know that it happens to many. It is so amazing that you can know very little about how to care for a new born baby before you have one, and then when the baby is born something clicks within you and you are now in tune with your child and you are quick to understand his every need. At that point I think for me respect was born.
At that point in time and every since I have desired the respect of others. I didn't need to be place upon a pedestal and bowed down to, no it was something much more valuable than that. What I desperately needed was for the people close to me to respect that I had intuition and that I knew my child better than any other person and that I was doing the best for him.
We all have different styles of doing the same thing. I have worn my hair short most all of my adult life, when most other women have worn there hair long; we all wore hair but in different styles. My son, Devin, is really into music right now and his style is very important to him. I respect that we have a different style of music. Of course, I set parameters for him that his style of music has to fall into, but as far as the style he gets to pick what is right for him. Everyone has a different type of food they like. I have dined with someone that would put down what I liked to express her dislike of it. I have even sat across from someone that complained that the food I brought to a meal was too rich. We all have different taste and styles and should just respect that we are different.
Right now I'm doing something with two of my boys that I never ever thought I would do. I didn't choose to home school Devin, it happened out of a need that he had. I didn't seek it out, but I needed to do what was best for him, due to the circumstances that life had put us in. Out of respect for his needs, I decided to home school him. Right now I am very proud of him. I am proud of how hard he works, how he is learning to take good notes when he reads, and how he is starting to use critical thinking skills. And then there is Jake. My youngest son, Jake, just wasn't doing so well this year in school. He would come home very cranky and when it was time to do homework he was very frustrated. He had to do reading every night and was sent home with books that were too advanced for him to read, and he had it in his head that I couldn't help him.
He asked over and over again to be home schooled. It tugged at my heart to give him this but I didn't really want to give up what I had with Devin. But now I'm glad that I decided to do this with Jake too. He is reading at a progressively harder level and I'm really glad to be a part of that.
I hope that someday the boys will respect all that I have given up to spend this time with them. I was so looking forward to time at home alone, to clean the house and get stuff done during the day. Now the house stays messy and not all the things I want to do get done. That is all okay, because I will never ever get these years back. I would like to have this time with Drew also, we will see where God guides.
This all is a very different path than the way I grew up. But my family has very different dynamics than the one I grew up in. I lived in the same house since I was a baby. I went to the same church from infancy to my Jr. high years, then changed only two times and stayed at the second one until I met my husband. Sin was accepted as sin and not choice and personal preference. You never heard of the things happening then at school that happen now. I didn't really know much about what a gang was when I was Devin's age. My sister warned me about the "cholo" girls. So I quickly made friends with the "cholo" boys as a form of insurance! So many things that are normal in the lives of 13 year olds now, we only heard about when I was 13 (and they always happened to people we didn't know who lived far away in bad places).
Maybe I'm overprotective. Maybe I'm smart. Living so close to Stockton, Ca puts a different spin on the way I make decisions for my boys. I have often thought to myself "We're not in Kansas anymore".
So what does all this have to do with respect. I think if I could speak for mainstream Mom's we all want respect. My sister has a beautiful way of expressing this, she calls it grace. Grace for people that we don't agree with, or maybe grace for people who God has called into a different direction than he has called you (and this doesn't cover choosing to go outside of his revealed Biblical will).
I was at the only woman's retreat that I have ever gone to and the speaker said this, "Be women of grace." That to me is a wonderful admonishment to all Christian women. I want to give grace in areas that I do not understand. I want to respect my sisters in Christ, trusting them when they tell me they are seeking God, and praying that God will guide them.
It is life blood to encourage and support your sisters in Jesus. I have many friends that do that for me. Oh, that I may do the same for them!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A wonderful baking day!
What a wonderful day. I stayed home most all
of the day and did something I love to do: bake.
In and out of the oven came Christmas tree
shaped sugar cookies, cinnamon rolls and
Norwegian Christmas Bread. Yesturday my
kitchen saw Chocolate Chip Cheesecake bars
and Almond Paste Cake. Tomorrow I plan
to finish up with Chocolate Biscotti!
One of my favorite things about this time of the
year is making all of these yummy treats. Also,
I love to share them too. Jake and I took a
little drive out to the West side of Stockton to
deliver cinnamon rolls to a new friend. I met
Michelle in the homeschool group and was
instantly drawn to her when she said she has
five boys. With two boys already in college,
I knew she had some experience under her
belt. A few months back we met for dinner
and it was so nice to have someone to just
share life with. I told her today that she has
been an oasis in this desert time of my life.
The boys are so excited about Christmas.
They keep asking what is on the menu.
Drew did a happy dance in the middle
of the living room tonight. Devin is planning
on staying up late tomorrow on Christmas
Eve, so that he will be able to easily fall asleep.
And my Jake, he confessed tonight that he
is really just excited about the gifts and not
really about Christmas being about Jesus.
I assured him that it was okay, and that
for a six year old it is normal to be excited
just about the gifts. I told him that when
people are older they think more about it
being about Jesus.
If I could, I would get a gift for every one of you.
Your gift would be something that you have been
longing for. The price would not matter, just that
your gift would delight you and bring you joy!
I love giving gifts at Christmas, the surprise, the
wrapping, ribbon and bows. I hope that each of
you will have a special gift this Christmas!
Enjoy the day and don't worry about any of the
calories!
Love,
Deanne
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